A Wish Upon the Stars

Chapter 11: Thoughts

The following morning, Ciara sent me a screenshot.

Last night, I mentioned to her that he started to ignore all my questions and left me seenzoned every now and then.

I had no idea that Ciara messaged Kaiser something about that, so I was quite surprised.

C:"FYI, Aria and I isn't playing you over. I'm just making a way to get some information from you or even just for you to notice her. Alright, go and seenzone everything we say. You, yourself was the one who told us that you'll notice and talk to us decently the moment you discover who's behind Runa and Alesia. Or maybe you told someone about this and that person told you to stop talking to us and ignore us, especially me?! You told me you're busy but you have the time to seenzone my replies? Wow. It's just easy to answer our questions. Sorry. Right from now, sorry if you got offended or you got angry to whatever I said. I'm talking to you directly to the point. Go ahead and think whatever you want to think. Anyway, thank you for the time you gave to Aria and I. Sorry if we disturbed you. Well, I just hope that you really don't have a plan to tell someone about Aria's secret."

I really didn't expect Ciara to tell him about that. I've been thinking how to settle this since last night and I think that this message of Ciara's will make it even harder for me to solve this.

I gathered all the courage left running in my veins and sent a message to Kaiser which I swear will be my last.

A:"I just discovered that Ciara sent you a very long message. I want to say sorry about everything she said. I don't want you to be mad at me for this. This is it. I decided I'll stop bothering you from now on. Even if you told me a lot of times already that it's okay if I chat you, I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. All I could say is, good luck to your studies. That's all."

At exactly two hours after I sent that, I saw that he was able to read it already... and for the nth time, he didn't say anything.

I was hurt. It feels so depressing that the person you admire continues to ignore you and make you feel like you're the most annoying individual in the world even if he himself was the one who actually told you that it's okay to talk to him.

I can't stop thinking about it.

I came to the point that I questioned myself if I should continue to admire him, since I know that he's kinda mad at me.

It hurts to give your feelings to someone who doesn't even care. I'll just hurt myself more in the process.

That night, I spent almost two hours writing all my thoughts. It's like a summary of the things I wanted to tell him.

And yes, until now, this message is still left unsent. Actually, I really don't want to send it anyways. I'll just better leave it here.

"To be honest, it still feels surreal that I finally had the chance; the chance I foolishly took to have a conversation with you as the real me.

I'm so sorry if I misunderstood what you said. I expected that you'll talk to me in a sensible way, but you didn't. I annoyed you, and I accept that.

I'm sorry if you felt as if I'm playing you over.

But, you absolutely have no idea how much courage I released from my entire body to be able to talk to you that moment when you told Ciara that you'll finally talk to me decently if I use my real account. I really thought I had the chance to be friends with you.

You have no idea that you were actually the one playing me over. You played with my feelings so that you'll be able to answer all your questions.

I got too carried away by your words.

I was too foolish to realize that you were just interested to know the person behind Runa Veronique.

I was too dumb to ascertain that you just took advantage of my feelings to make me reveal my true identity.

Nevertheless, Thank you for making me realize that I was a fool. A fool that got too attached to a person who never cared about me.

Thank you for giving me a little of your time even if if I'm ready to give almost all my time for you.

Thank you for waking me up to the reality that I should stop asking for your attention; that I should stop making you feel that I'm giving you the obligation to like me back.

Thank you for being a part of my life even if I'm not even a part of yours.

Adieu, Kaiser Leonhardt."