Just Breathe

Part Two

The sun was even higher in the sky now, which gave me warmth the whole walk there. The station wasn't that far now; I could see it. But the pit in my stomach grew larger and larger with every step I took closer.
What would I say? Here I am? What's been happening for the past four years? I laughed at myself. No, that's stupid. Would they believe who I am? Maybe they don't remember me. After all, Billy didn't seem to recognize me.

  As I stepped up onto the sidewalk, the path led in the direction to the station. I could see it plain as day now. Right in front of me. I could hear my heart pounding. I could feel it. Almost like it was slamming against my chest. I took a deep breath and started to walk on the sidewalk. I counted in my head. Step one. Step two. Step three. Step four. Step five. Step six. Step seven. Step eight. Step nine. I was just a few feet away from the station when I felt like I couldn't breathe. My lungs felt like they were going to collapse. My throat felt tight. It was the same feeling I got when I woke up in that place. The same feeling I got when he grabbed me. My sight was blurring. Everything began to spin. I have to get out of here. I took a few steps back and then turned and ran. Ran out of there. The forest surrounded this town. Close to the station, a patch of the woods began. I changed my direction and ran into the woods; as if something was chasing me. No one could see me like this. I was panicking. I couldn't do this.

  I stopped once I felt I was far enough into the forest that no one could see me. I gasped for my breath and slowly sank beneath a tall, wide tree. The moss felt soft on my hands as I stroked it back and forth. It helped calm me down. I took more breaths, trying to catch it. My head still span. Why is this happening? It's not a big deal. All I have to do is walk into that station and tell them the truth. I kept telling myself. So why was that so hard for me? To tell the truth. I kept thinking about it. Maybe I was scared no one would remember me. Or maybe no one would believe me. I wasn't exactly sure what I was scared of. But there was something gnawing at me. Something eating me up inside.
Just, what was it? And I guess trying to figure out what it was, I drifted off into a deep, soundless sleep.

***
  I was wandering down the sidewalk, the way I always did following the path back to my house. It was a beautiful night. The sun was just setting and the sky was a dark blue color that danced beneath the stars that were just coming out. The birds had died down, and now the crickets were the only thing that had replaced the sound. I was wondering why people were so freaked out by something that sounded so peaceful and lovely. Why people were so freaked out about walking home at night when the best scenery came out and played. I loved taking walks at night, although my father didn't let me often. But I recently had been having panic attacks and my doctor told my father that walks in the morning and night were good for me. Helped me calm down and enjoy the surroundings. I was just admiring the flowers in the field that glowed in the moonlight when I heard a car come to a stop close to me. I didn't think anything of it, mostly because there are houses all down this street, and many people parked along the street to head to one of the homes. But I was horribly wrong this time as a hand came from behind me and dragged me back to the stopped car. The man was strong and tall and I tried to scream and get away, or hurt him. I started to panic and could feel my lungs cave in. I tried to twist and turn but a jab to my arm resisted my attempt to escape and I slowly felt myself give in to the darkness that had come for me. As I hear someone whisper in my ear, "Jaycee, you are mine now," before I completely black out.
***

  "NOO!" I screamed as I jolted up from the tree I was slumpering under. I tried to catch my breath as I felt how clammy I was. Just breathe. I told myself. Just. Breathe. It was only a dream. But this was no ordinary dream. I had dreamt about this more times than I could count. That was the reason I had left Dalyville in the first place. I was taken away, by him. I couldn't even think of him. Just thinking that he was watching me months before he took me. Watched my every move. He was sick. He only kept me for a few months. And then it happened. Once I broke free he was no where to be seen, and I was in the middle of the woods. So I ran. But not back home. I was too scared to go back; mostly because of the things he threatened me with if I ever got away. I also had no idea where in the woods I was. I ran to another town that wasn't too far away from Dalyville. And that's where I stayed for the remainder of my disapearance.

  Jackville was the name of the town. It was only about an hour drive from Dalyville. But trust me, it was a much longer walk. I made a friend there. She didn't really know me—the real me—but she helped me get a job. I used a different name and changed my story. And no one questioned it. Jackville wasn't like Dalyville at all. No one put their noses in other's business. They kept to themselves. Didn't ask any questions. It was a perfect place to hide out. But eventually my friend found out who I really was. She heard about me on the news; she was the one who told me I should go home. It took her a few days of convincing for me to change my mind. But it worked. I told her I'd keep in touch but knowing both of us, that probably wouldn't happen.

  I had finally caught my breath as I started to gently lay my head back against the large tree. I was astonished that it was already night fall.
I must have been asleep for awhile. And I must have been pretty tired, considering I hadn't slept for the past few days. I sat there in that spot which seemed like forever just wondering if I should wait til morning to go to the station or go now. After all, it wouldn't be that crowded now. It must be about 12:00am.
I wasn't tired enough to go back to sleep. And no one would see me if I went now. Wouldn't be any comostion.

  The trees above me whistled as if saying "yes, go". For a second I thought I heard someone say "go", but as I peered around all I saw was darkness. I remembered when I first got out how scared I was of being in the forest at night. I couldn't think straight. If anyone saw me I must of looked pretty spooky; I could feel my eyes grow larger at every sound I heard and thing I saw move. But now, I was so used to the dark that it no longer scared me. Along with the forest. I had travelled through the woods so many times that it felt like a second home. Actually, they just felt like home. But as much as I wasn't so scared anymore, the memory of all the bad things that happened in those woods came to my mind, and that's what scared me the most. Just the memory of it.

  At that moment, I made up my mind. I slowly got back up on my feet, swung my bag back over my shoulder and began to walk in the direction that I had come into the woods. Since I have been gone, I also have gotten quite good at directions; like North, East, South and West. Once I got a job in Jackville, I got myself a compass with my first paycheck from the little coffee shop I worked at. Just incase I ever got lost in the woods. I still had the compass, although I didn't need it much anymore. I knew my way around.

  As I took more steps I noticed the street lights from the town. The station was close. As I stepped out of the woods I started on the path to the police station again; taking deep, relaxing breaths this time. You can do this. You can do this. I kept repeating to myself.

  It came up so close. The station was suddenly right in front of me. 'Dalyville Police Department' read the large sign painted on the window, as I looked over the wording carefully. With one final deep breath I firmly grabbed the handle and pulled the heavy door open. The smell of leather and freshly printed papers filled my nose as I opened a second large door. And there, in front of me was a long desk that was between a few sets of offices. It seemed pretty empty. Only a few lights were on, and not as many officers as there would be in the day. Perfect time. I stood there for a moment or two before a man came strolling out of an office. He looked professional, but at the same time casual. It suited him.

  "Hi. Can I help you with something?" he asked me while putting a file in this hands to his side. I stared at him blankly, just like I did with Billy. I swallowed hard.

  "A-are you a police officer?" I asked him in a shaky voice as I tried looking him in the eyes. My palms began to sweat fiercely.

  "I'm a detective, yes," he spoke back with a confused but firm look spread across his face. "Can I help you with something?" he asked me once again, trying to get an answer.

  "I.....um," I stumbled on my words, trying to come up with the words I was thinking, but they couldn't seem to come up as easily as before. "My name's Jaycee Thompson," I finally announced. The detective's expression dropped as his eyes narrowed with confusion, and then widened with realization. "And I think you've been looking for me."