Just Breathe

Part Eighteen

  I walked back to town slowly from the woods I almost had died twice in now. But, only this time, one of us came out alive. The other, would stay in there for life. Rotting and decomposing down deep into the earth and dirt, although I knew she wouldn't get out like me, for I made sure she was truly dead before I buried and covered her up, not like the half ass job she did with me. I covered her with all that dirt I had dug up trying to find my father, although now I knew he was never in there to begin with.

  I felt relieved as I traveled more through these woods, hoping this would be the last time I entered them. Or, at least the last time surrounding this nightmare. A weight had been lifted, and as terrible as it may sound, I was glad that I killed her. That she couldn't hurt me anymore. That all of this was finally, completely over. And now I could enjoy my life once again, before she took all the happiness I once had away. Or at least some of it.

I took my time walking out of these woods, as I felt like I had just finished an exam or test that I had studied so hard for, only this feeling was much more intense than that. The situation followed as well, as this was much more intense than a stupid test. The wind pushed me further out of the forest as well, like it was helping me along. Sort of like it was saying "go Jaycee. Go and don't come back. This part of your life is over. You deserve to be happy, and not in these devastating woods where all bad things happened to you. Go along." And I did go along, as the exit of this dark forest was coming to a clearing, and I saw the bright lights of the city ahead. The bright street lanterns, and the stoned pathways and roads.

Trees rustled behind me, as the whole way home I continued to have that good feeling. The feeling of being free for once. And that's when I realized, I finally was free. All the time before, even when I was free from her, from my captor who turned out to be Tara, I was still a prisoner. A prisoner of fear. I was still weighed down by that. I was never completely free of her. Because she was still out there, lurking behind me. In the shadows. But now that was all over, since she was gone forever, and I no longer had to live in fear. I was no longer a prisoner. She was. A prisoner of death and hell, where I assumed she would go on after this place. If I truly believed in all of those things. Heaven and hell I mean, I'm still not quite sure I believe in those things. But maybe I'll figure it out some day.

As I now walked along the stoned path that was the sidewalk, I thought back and remembered my whole experience, and everything about Tara. She knew me years before I knew her. She never got the chance to meet me first, all she knew about me was the way I treated her sister, and others in our town and school. She only saw me as a bully, as a bitch. Which I was, I'm not saying I wasn't here. However, I still wasn't sure if I believed what she said. About Emily not knowing about the threats. About what she was doing to me. If anything I would have thought all of that was Emily's idea. Not her sisters. But yet again, maybe Emily wouldn't have agreed with that, or maybe she would be scared to see how I reacted. If I knew it was her sister threatening me. Maybe she was scared as to what I would do to her then. Or maybe she didn't agree with the whole, "let's kill her as a way of payback" type plan. Maybe that just wasn't her thing. It certainly would not have been mine.

I really hope what she said before was true though. About not having spoke to her family in years. That would be the only set back, if her family reported her missing. But she had lived in Jackville for awhile, and said they hadn't spoken for ages. Perhaps if they did want to speak to her again, they would only think she was angry with them, considering the absence and the missed calls from them. And if worse comes to worse, and the police did find her body and trace her back to me, I would just tell them the truth. That it was all self defence. It wasn't a lie. They could ask me any questions they wanted, and have me take millions of those lie detector tests, I would tell the truth each time, and the truth was I was protecting myself.