Once and for All ✔

Chapter 4

Happy reading 😁

Word count: 1034

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Jawariyah's POV

I am in my room staring at the ceiling letting thoughts fill my head.

It's been three days since Malik and his father came over and we still have not heard anything yet. And it's making me doubt my hope of being accepted.

It went well that's what Auntie Hamila told me after I asked her how I did. It wasn't actually hard at all, the only thing I had to do was answer questions. After Malik's dad finished questioning me. I was left alone with Malik, It started off awkward with Malik just staring at the floor and me fidgeting with my hands.

Subsequently, a question popped into my head and I asked it even though it sounded stupid.

"Do you like kids?"

He looks up from the floor smirking, totally amazed that my question.

Before he could answer. Harris walks in, his eyes damp with tears.

"Why you crying?" I ask, picking him up and sitting him on my lap.

His voice seems to be caught in his throat as he struggles to form the words. ''Aisha hit me." They always fight and it always ends up with one of them crying.

I could literally feel Malik's gaze on me as I waited for Harrison's sobs to quieten down.

Malik left a few minutes after that and I was glad he didn't question me about Harrison or who was Harrison's father.

Malik is fresh out of university and soon will be starting as a teacher in the local school down the road. He doesn't have problems with his prayer but once in a while, he misses Fajr. He ticks all the boxes and I just hope I tick all his boxes too.

''Jawa!'' The front door opens, Layla is standing there holding the phone to her hear staring me like I have grown a second head.

"Dad wants to speak to you." Layla hands me the phone.

"As Salaam Alaikum dad." Instead of walking out and closing the door, she leans against the wall staring at me with her big brown eyes.

"Wa Alaikum Salaam." I have not heard my dad's voice in months and hearing it drives my mind through endless memories.

My dad is in Melbourne, where he is finishing a house he has been trying to build for over two years now and as soon as the house is completed. Mum, Layla and Mariam are going to move there and I might move with them if I am not married before then.

''How are you?'' His voice is as I remember, soft and quiet.

"I am good alhamdulillah. How's Melbourne?"

"It's great. Layla told me you found a husband, congra-"

"No, no I still have not found out if he accepted yet but you know... I doubt that his gonna say yes."

Dad chuckles,"You said the same thing when Mahmoud came over to our house."

I nod, trying to keeping my mind from thinking too much about Mahmoud. "This is a different situation dad, I am an old lady and like you said old ladies are unattractive."

His answer shocks me. "If he really likes you and he is a good Muslim. He would not look at your looks knowing that it wouldn't last for long."

That was what Mahmoud told me after I asked him why he accepted me because I was rejected many times before Mahmoud came along.

I tear slips down my cheek.

"Dad?" I ask, wiping the tear away.

"Yes, honey."

"Why do you think my life is so hard?" I ask, I just want to hear the same encouraging words he said to me at the funeral.

"Because Allah gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers."

I another tear slips down my cheek, I can't express how much those words have got me where I am today. Because without them I would not be alive right now.

*******

''I am sorry.''Auntie Hamila says putting a hand on my shoulder.

''They rejected me didn't they?'' I ask, feeling like I already the answer. She takes my hand in hers and speaks quietly, "Yes, they rejected you. I am sorry.''

I nod. Biting my lips holding back the tears that threatened to leave my eyes.

My dad's words roam through my head. Because Allah gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because...Malik feels like you still have feelings for Mahmoud and he doesn't want to marry someone who has feelings for a dead person."

No matter who I end up with in life or where life takes me. Mahmoud will always have a special place in my heart and nothing will change that. He was my first love and the father of my child, if though he is dead I have and always will love him.

My dad's words don't help me this time. I slam my head against the wall letting tears slip down my cheeks.

"I am sorry." I don't know why she has to keep apologising, but I am too frustrated to even care.

"NO!" I yell making Auntie Hamila jump.

Why is it that I can't find anyone who is willing to love me and stop making assumptions that my heart is attached to someone who is dead. Of cause, my heart is attached to Mahmoud he was my first love and is the father of my child but that doesn't mean I can't learn to love another.

"Shh. it's okay, remember everything happens for a reason" She lets me lean on her shoulder and sob.

The door bangs open, Layla walks in with an apron on. I am supposed to be cooking dinner for mum because she is coming back. I told Layla to take over after auntie Halima called me.

Auntie Hamila stands still as Layla walks over to me and takes my hands in hers. "I promise you that you will find someone that is much matter than Malik."

"I already did before," I snap, Layla smiles at me and nods. "You did but he returned back to the Creator. I am talking about now, You have put your trust in Allah and know that He will grant you a husband when He wills.

I don't say a word, instead, I embrace her and as she pulls away she says the same words that I have got me where I am today. "Allah gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers."