On the One Hand...

Why Dogs are Superior to Cats as Pets

Cats are aloof. Come home in a bad mood and they couldn't care less. It's always their needs first. Feel sad and want a hug, and they'll come. After bathing. And yawning. And stretching. If they feel like it. It all depends. They're kind-of unpredictable. If you can find them.

Cats scratch,leaving three or four parallel raised red welt lines on backs of hands, forearms, and fingers that sting and itch. It may not happen often, but it eventually does. Always accidentally. Unless they're upset. Or playing rough. Stupid cats.

Dogs are man's best friend—the closest thing to unconditional love on Earth.

They instantly forgive transgressions and forget about them forever. Forget to feed them? That's okay—an extra make-up serving is even better! Treat them bad for no reason? They'll turn their head quizzically and wonder why. Scold them for raiding the refrigerator? Hang-dog expression, tail between legs, they'll hide in a corner, peek out every so often, and at the hint of smile or raised hand, come out and tentatively approach. If the smile grows or hand beckons, all is well in doggy land.

Dogs are super-easy to please. An open door, a thrown rubber ball, a whispered phrase can create gleeful pandemonium. My friend's kids whispered, "Walk" into their dogs' ears and the previous sleepy pair were up by the door waiting to be leashed and lead the same neighborhood circuit as if it were Doggy-Disneyland.

Certain breeds are patient and can handle the rough handling of little children. Cats run, hide, and hiss if threatened by toddlers (this happened to my daughter Penelope—the first and only time I saw a cat hiss—which was totally uncalled for. Of course Penelope cried.)

Working dogs have helped man in some of the most adverse conditions (snow, ice, war zone, heat, deprivation) and today serve in search and rescue, crime prevention, mobility for the physically challenged, therapy, and numerous other fields. Cats look kind-of cute and are sometimes nice to pet.

Dogs empathize. When you feel sad, they're sad and come and comfort—meaning failed,half-hearted attempts never suffice. They persist until successful or exhaust themselves trying.

They're always happy to see you.

They eat what they're fed and never complain. (I have yet to meet a finicky dog. My sister feeds her dogs fresh veggies like carrots. Carrots?)

Larger dogs make great foot warmers, especially in colder climates. (I experienced this one Seattle winter at my friend Norm's house. Luther was not good for much else except warming feet and eating up spills on the floor, though he was lovable in his own way despite numerous imperfections.)

Dogs come when called, tails a-wagging, mouths agape and panting, eyes showing eager willingness for anything.

Dogs are smart and can be taught tricks. Cats are too stupid and self-absorbed to fetch, play dead, speak, beg, roll-over, heel, or go.

Outdoor cats gather in groups at night to yowl and fight vicious. Their deep,loud, throaty voices sound like the wailing of a lost, suffering soul—creeps me out!