.:'*':.Eddsworld and Off Oneshots .:'*':.

◘♥◘House Centipedes◘♥◘

Shadows flickered along the wall, never in the same place for more than three seconds. Tom yawned and haphazardly chucked the blankets aside and left his bed exposed. Some religious scam program must've weaved itself onto AMC, for "300" was playing before gravity pulled his eyelids down and glued them shut with a feathery touch.

"What do you feel when you're reminded that Jesus died to give us forgiveness?" the priest stood up and gestured to a young audience member.

"Nothing." Even though he wasn't on the program, Tom still felt obliged to answer the ridiculous question.

Looking outside, darkness limited his vision of the road and surrounding shrubs; the birds remained silent, happily cheating on their significant other, like the wretched fairy wren. He'd've learned that in class, but he was sick with the flu, and had to research the birds all by himself. Tom got bored of hearing the old man talk, and left his room to use the bathroom. The floor creaked beneath him just as if it was a worn, rusty, horror-esque door. Turning on the light briefly blinded Tom, but the creme walls came into focus, enough so that the boy limbered to the mirror and stared blankly at his reflection. Sometimes, he wished he would've been born a vampire, so he wouldn't have to acknowledge his presence at any given point in time. His chapped lips spoke louder-and more aggressively- than his mouth did, and his crooked nose jutted out in place of his flat lips. God, was his facade abhorrent and flawed.

"Maybe I should take a shower," he didn't care if no one heard him, or even if eavesdropping wiretappers knew what he was up to now, but what he did care about was the hundred-legged being crawling on the side of the tub.
"Ahaha, at least I don't look like that thing." Tom drew near the bug and concentrated as if he was about to perform a lobotomy with an ice pick on the poor thing.
"Nevermind, look at your stripes... Humph, your legs are mesmerizing. I wonder if the shower deluged your home? Wait, nah, you're one of those /city slickers/. Pffft, so am I..." Gravity hit Tom a little too hard.
"Fuck, I'm talking to a house centipede. I wonder if they bite?" He picked it up and stroked it gently, and not in the Salad Fingers kind of "gently". Sure enough, the tiny fellow chomped down and might've sent it's venom down Tom's finger, but it wasn't bad enough to kill a human.
"Damn, well, see you soon." It crawled off his hand and onto the tiled floor below, taking refuge from the ,ongoing and never-ending, war against the humans, in their own cabinet.

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im gonna put these on AO3, if anyones interested.  User: Kat_Jaku 

I also have an eddsworld au story thingo thats ao3 exclusive.  even if you dont have an account for ao3 you can still view and leave kudos, just in case you dont know what it is/never used it before.  the story's title is Once At 11pm, At Night.