Reasons To Try |Completed|

Chapter three

Today was the day I would take Maddy in to have the surgery with Cassy. She has grown nervous since she realized this is the day. I don't blame her for being nervous though. I mean, she is going to have her body cut open. She knows she will be in pain. But she still insists that she wants to do it because she loves her sister.

We got to the hospital and the doctor in charge of Cassy came towards us immediately. He lead us into a separate room than Cassy's. They laid Maddy on the bed and told us to wait while they grabbed Cassy. Maddy shuddered in the cold room, as did I.

She stared at me with her big brown eyes and I could see the fear begin to show. "Don't worry hunny, you will be fine. Are you sure you want to still do this? This is your last chance to say no and then you have no choice." I told her as I rubbed her back for comfort.

She continued to stare at me with a blank expression. "I want to do it for Cassy mama."

Then Cassy was wheeled into the room on her bed. She looked so delicate that it made me tear up again. The doctors got me to change Maddy into a hospital gown for the surgery and then she was laid back down on the bed. They were placed beside each other in the center of the room. I was told I could stay until they were asleep and then I had to let them do their thing, which I agreed to do. I stood beside them as they looked at me with fear present in their eyes. They reached out and held each other's hands as they drifted to sleep. That's when I was told to leave the room. I obviously don't want to leave them but its whats best for them so I have to.

I was in the waiting room for about an hour before Josh showed up with his buddies and my brother. I got up and greeted Ian happily. He has stayed in my life and the girls the whole time. That makes me happy since I thought he would have ditched us the second Josh left. But he stayed. And I was thankful. He was actually a huge help when the girls were born. He stayed at my apartment all the time when I had been listening to Cassy cry for days on end and was about to lose myself. He actually knows about when the girls were about six months and I attempted suicide. He is the only one who knows and I trust him with the secret.

He smiled at me and gave me a peck on the cheek. "How are they?" He asked.

I gave a small, weak smile. "I don't know. They've been in surgery for about an hour now and I have no idea if they are okay. I'm sure doctor Porter will give me news when they are done." I told fairly confidently.

Matt gave me a hug next. "Yea, they will be fine. Those two are strong. They will pull through no problems." He told me in a very reassuring voice. I liked Matt. I don't mean I want to date him but I have liked him since the moment we met. He's a gentle soul and he has been fairly consistent in my life. At one point he even offered to be the girls dad. Since Josh didn't want anything to do with them I figured it would be best if I just raised them as a single parent.

I smiled back at him. "Yea, I hope so."

Mike came toward me and gave me a very uncomfortable hug. As soon as the hug was done he pulled away and back up away from me. He then stared at Josh with a slight bit of fear. That's really weird. Josh went to hug me but I backed away from him before he got the chance to get close to me. There's no way I'm hugging him after what he said.

We all sat in the waiting room for a while in silence before Ian broke it. "Anyone hungry?" He asked. The other three nodded but I just stared blankly at nothing, zoning out completely. He waved his hand in front of my face and I snapped back into reality. He kneeled down in front of me. "Are you okay Lex?" He asked with a worried voice.

I sighed. "I didn't sleep the last three nights and I guess it's started to get to me." I explained. I have slept maybe 10 hours in the last week. I know that's a bad thing but I have just been too stressed over Cassy to sleep. And then when I was presented with the idea with Maddy, the stress doubled.