Reasons To Try |Completed|

Chapter 8

The pain in my abdomen just got worse as I was driving. Thankfully the hospital wasn't that far from my house or I would have called an ambulance. I parked my car and rushed into the huge building, holding my stomach in pain along the way.

Basically as soon as I got in, a nurse rushed to my side with a wheelchair, wheeling me into the emergency room. I described the pain to the nurse and she gave a sad look. She said that what I had described sounded like a miscarriage. She told me that she would do an ultrasound to make sure that she was correct. So I was waiting in a different room for her to take me to get the ultrasound done.

I was waiting for a long while for the time to come where I would find out the fate of my unborn child. I guess it took a lot longer than I originally estimated because in no time, Ian had begun calling me. He forced me to tell him where I was and then said he was coming to make sure I was okay.

The nurse came back in the room with the machine needed, wasting no time at all to start it up. She put the gel on my stomach and then grabbed the round instrument, placing it also on my stomach. She moved the instrument around, searching for the baby. She kept looking for at least five minutes, but we found nothing. She removed the instrument and wiped it off before giving me a paper towel to wipe the gel off my stomach.

I looked up at her, feeling like I was about to explode. "So, it's gone?" I asked quietly, already knowing the answer.

She gave me a very sad look as she nodded. "I'm so sorry." She replied. The tears started to drip from my eyes. "I'll leave you to pull yourself together. Is there anyone who can pick you up?" She asked.

I shook my head. "I drove in my own car. My brother is coming though." I told her. She nodded and then left the room.

I was left with my own thoughts as she left the room. I can't believe I lost the baby. I don't know why I am so heartbroken though. I didn't even want to have this baby, so why do I feel so sad about it?

Ian came into the room and rushed to my side. "What happened? Are you okay?" He asked, very serious and very worried.

I looked down and held my stomach with great disparity. "I lost the baby." I barely whispered. He grabbed me and pulled me in for a hug. The tears streamed out again. I clung to him for what seemed like forever. "Why do I even care when I didn't even want it in the first place?" I asked.

Ian pulled away and looked at me. "Because you love so much. You had another being inside your body. That's not just something you can ignore. Your heart is so big that you got attached to the baby before it was even born." He explained to me. I supposed that made sense.

I nodded my head. "I guess." I stood up and headed for the door. "Let's just go home." I suggested.

Ian nodded and followed me out. I wanted to drive home in my own car but Ian insisted that I get into his. He said he would get it later. He said it was dangerous to drive in my condition, since I was still in a state of shock and he could tell that I was slipping into a depression. I suppose I can see it through his perspective but I still want to be able to do things for myself. I am still able to do things for myself.

When he pulled into the driveway, I just sat there. I didn't want to get out just yet. I wasn't ready to face reality and pretend that I was fine. After all, Matt and Ian were the only ones who even knew about the pregnancy and Matt doesn't know I lost it yet. So I am just supposed to pretend that nothing bad happened and that I was still the happy go lucky girl that I always am. But I just can't do that. I have a piece of me that's been ripped away and that's something that will take quite a long time to repair myself over.

Ian went to get out, he had his belt off and his door open. Once he realized I hadn't moved, he closed the door and turned toward me. "Are you okay?" He asked me.