An Indefinite Amount of Forever (A Harry Potter Fanfiction--Dramione)

Your Advice is Rubbish

"You're paying," Ron said to Draco as he slumped down into the seat next to him.

Draco gaped at the ginger. "Well, it's fucking nice to see you too, Weasley."

He regretted this already. Inviting Freckle Face and Vincent van Fuck-up to meet him for a pint wasn't exactly his idea of a fine way to pass an evening. But he wanted to pick their brains...such as they were.

Ron promptly ordered a pint of brown ale and gestured to the barmaid to put it on Draco's tab. "Yeah, and uh, grab us some pork pies from the back, would you?"

Draco grimaced. "Do not order those foul things. I didn't free up my evening so I could watch you eat Crup-food grade meat with your hands."

"Well, I can't very well drink on an empty stomach, now can I?" Ron countered.

Draco narrowed his eyes disbelievingly. "I doubt your stomach has ever been empty, Weasley."

Ron opened his mouth to throw out a rude retort, when Harry arrived. "Sorry I'm late," he said. "I needed to finish your engagement gift, Malfoy."

Draco took in his appearance. Harry was wearing what appeared to be an embroidered muumuu, along with a pair of leather sandals and a necklace made entirely of beads. His hair had grown a bit and he obviously hadn't shaved in weeks. He looked like a nearsighted Jesus.

Needless to say, Draco longed to make fun of him. "You really didn't need to get me a gift, Potter."

Harry waved off his protest. "It's for you and Hermione," he said, thrusting a large, rectangular parcel into Draco's hands.

Draco groaned internally. He already knew what it was.

"Oi, Harry. What'd you want?" Ron asked. "Malfoy's buying."

Draco sputtered, "I never said that I'd—"

"Double neat 25 Year Reserve Ogden's," Harry promptly ordered.

Draco grumbled. "Potter, I have seen you drink Tesco vodka out of a shoe. When did you suddenly develop a taste for fine liquor?"

"Since you agreed to treat," Harry answered brightly. "Are you going to open your present or not?"

Draco grumbled as he joylessly tore the paper to reveal what was quite possibly the worst original Harry Potter painting yet. It reminded him of the watercolor pictures Scorpius used to make when he was five or six. Only, when Scorpius did it, it was adorable, and (at least according to a father's artistic eye) a sign of precocity and true potential for genius. Such artworks were often signed with a note reading, 'I love you, Daddy,' or something similar, and displayed proudly on his study wall. But this...

This wasn't cute.

A sleazy-looking, beige animal, which appeared to be a cross between a rat and a dog (he assumed Harry was aiming for a ferret), decked out in a jacket made of money, was holding hands with a Hermione stick figure (complete with magnificently drawn breasts). The two of them were standing underneath a rainbow in a meadow, which might have been nice but for the fact that the ferret appeared to be abducting the Hermione-figure, and the expression on her face might have been construed as the artist's failed attempt to capture apprehension. Worst of all, Draco could make out disproportionately miniscule genitalia on the ferret.

"Well, what do you think?" Harry asked, eyes glistening with pride.

Draco searched his face for any sign of sarcasm or an understanding that this creation was, in fact, a joke. Finding none, he sighed. "It's...well.... heh." There really were no words to describe how much he detested it. "Thanks, Potter." He bit his lip and examined the painting with a critical eye. "I know I said it before, but you really, really shouldn't have."