No Time Left To Regret

Chapter 10

The next morning after I had eaten breakfast, fed Jonathan and given him a bath. There was a knock at her door. I was hesitant on answering it. I already knew Joe was waiting on the other side to make another fertile attempt to win me back. I tried to remain quiet hoping that he would go away, but after another knock on the door caused Jonathan cried out a little. Now I had no choice but to answer the door and face another day of Joe's begging and pleading.

I approached the door, Jonathan cradled in my left arm. Unlocking it and opening it slowly. I looked up, surprised to see who was standing on the other side.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"Alright..." I nodded and stepped aside letting him pass into the apartment and shutting the door behind him.

"We need to talk..." he began but I cut him off. I already knew what he was going to say and it wasn't worth his breath to even say it.

"I know but..." I began but he put his hand up and had now cut me off.

"Uh not another word! I am going to get out what I came here to tell you and your going to sit there and listen and not interrupt again! I need to do this please just let me or I am going to go crazy!" He scolded, then flashed a smile, his eyes softening.

"Ok, I'm listening." I replied taking a seat, my guest following a second later.

"I have so many regrets, I don't even know where to begin..." he trailed off, trying to sort his words out, while trying to make sense of why he was here in the first place. He had been unsure of himself these last few days, since Jonathan's birth.

"At the beginning might help." I suggested, receiving an "oh really, like I didn't know that." look from a desperate man who looked like he was ready to blow a fuse if he didn't get whatever was bothering him off his chest.

"Fine! I'm sorry for not asking you out sooner, I'm sorry for not coming over when I figured out that things probably ended with you and Joe, I'm sorry for even calling him to let him know his son was born.... I thought I was doing the right thing and trying to help you two become a family. After trying to ask you if I could help raise the baby and you telling me that you'd rather have Joe step up and be a father, I thought I was helping everyone involved but I am only hurting myself in all of this. It killed me to see you and Jonathan at my parents house with Joe. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I tried asking my Dad for advice but he's livid over what Joe did with you. I can't talk to him about my feelings for you. And Joe well he's another story... He's a mess right now. He came home extremely upset - he said that you don't want to work things out with him and our father is still not speaking to him. He treats Joe like he's not even there... This is all my fault!"

Kevin took a deep sigh and put his head into his hands. I laid my right hand on his shoulder and he looked up into my eyes.

"Kev, it's not your fault. If Joe had actually stepped up and been a man about this months ago when he should have, no one would be in this mess right now. We got into an argument and I asked him to leave last night."

"So, is it over between you two?" Kevin looked at me while sounding hopeful.

"I told him I couldn't decide anything right now. But he refuses to believe it's over." I affirmed with a nod.

"I am kinda in limbo here. I mean I was there when Jonathan was born, it was the most special thing I have ever seen but at the same time he's my brother's son and you should be trying to make this all work out so Jonathan has both his parents raising him, not Mommy and Uncle Kevin. But I can't help the way I feel for you. I'm not sure who's the more emotional train wreck me or Joe... how do you feel in all of this?" Kevin seemed to be speaking in circles, kinda like his mind was at that point in time.

"Wow, you need to slow down you are all over the place." I said, rubbing his shoulder, trying to comfort him a little bit.

"I knew it, I am the emotional train wreck." he stated, starting to get upset.

"I don't think you are but you need to slow down and take things one day at a time. I can't take much more of this." I said as my voice became unsteady, Kevin was now beginning to make me upset.

"Much more of what?" he asked looking confused.

"Well I have Joe over here trying to move in and have us married by the end of the week and now you profess your feelings for me. I just had a baby two days ago and now I am stuck in a love triangle with two brothers! So who's next from your family to show up at my door and tell me he loves me... Nick?" I explained, then threw in a light joke at the end, but Kevin didn't see it as a joke.

"Yeah, he might have feelings for you too... I have no idea... I hope not!" Kevin stated beginning to freak out a little bit.

"Kevin, calm down I was just kidding!" I smiled and rubbed Kevin's shoulder.

"It's not funny when there's real emotions invested here." he shook his head in disapproval at me, I felt bad, but I wasn't sure of the boy's logic of this whole situation - so I called him out on it.

"How could you be that attached to me after only a few days?" I questioned.

"It hasn't only been a few days for me, I've had my heart set on you since the beginning. And here we are two years later and I am still without you." Kevin sighed in defeat.

Suddenly there was another rasp on the door. Mine and Kevin's heads snapped towards the door then back to each other. Now who could that be?

***Chapter End Notes*** - Who do you think is at the door? I love reading your comments on this story - please leave me one :) Many thanks!