When Past Becomes Present (an Alex Turner fan fic)

Chapter 25

AN: This is sort of just a short filler chapter, but it was necessary before we can get to action without leaving a huge gap. The real action chapter will be here around the 15th or 18th, if not earlier, so be looking for it! Please continue to star, and let me know what you think! What are you expecting? What do you want to see? I love hearing from you all. x Laurel

*Alex’s POV*

Why was she so distance today? I lay on my bed with my phone in my hands, eyes attached to the screen. Usually she had quick, witty responses, but today it was different. She wasn’t making the usual interesting comments she made, in fact, she was barely responding at all. It was like she was barely there, like she didn’t even care about me. “Maybe she’s just busy.” I told myself “Maybe she has a lot of work.” But I couldn’t take it from my mind. “C’mon, mate, we need to practice!” Matt’s voice came from the next room. It was true; we did need to practice. I had already missed a couple practices to go see her, and the boys had been reminding me of it all week long. “Okay, I’m coming!” I yelled back, telling myself to leave her out of my mind or else channel her into the music. That was what my main focus was supposed to be, but when Lillia was around, she became the music for me.

*Lillia’s POV*

“Do not text back too much, Lillia.” I beckoned back at my conscience to give me a break and let me text him something other than a two word response for once today. “Don’t do it, Lillia. Don’t do it.” I cursed my brain for being right. If he was dating lots of other girls then he had lots of other girls to text. He could text them. I didn’t need to be interesting or let him know what I was thinking. There were other girls who could do that, and obviously I was still coping with that. It had just been such a shock that there was anyone else. How was he seeing other girls when he was coming to see me so much? We had been hanging out so much the past month, so in between that and band practice where had he had time to date other girls? I had never even thought of dating more than one person at once, but I guessed I would have to figure out how to do that now.

I was going to Vi’s office party tonight, and, honestly, I was nervous beyond belief. What was I going to do? What was I going to say? Sure, I had gone to pubs in college, and I had met tons of new people with ease. This was different, though. This was the adult world, and this was a fancy office party. This party was extended to co-workers and one plus one, which meant anybody Vi brought had to be special. They were expecting special, and I was not sure I could deliver that. I was just a school teacher for God’s sake! I knew what I would probably end up doing in this situation. I would cling to Vi all night, barely making conversation with anyone without her by my side, and at the end I would come home disappointed and full of regret.

That night I told Vi of my fears. She scoffed. “Look, if you don’t want your night to be like that then don’t let it be.” Of course. That was the cure-all wasn’t it? Be confident. Be yourself. Have no fear. I had heard all of these things so many times, and I was sick of it. In the end, no matter how much you told me, it would never work. I just couldn’t get myself to follow such vague instructions. I needed a formula, and I needed a change of heart and mind. I needed to get myself out of this way of awkward, uncomfortableness. Vi continued, “Lillia, if you don’t want it to be awkward, then don’t be awkward. Commit to yourself, right now, that you are going to talk. You are going to be extroverted as hell, and you won’t let anyone get in your way, including that little scared voice in your head.” She was right, and I knew it. I knew she was right, but it was hard. Suddenly, a thought came to mind. Why is it hard? What makes that so hard? Fuck, hard. I was going to make it look easy. No one could stop me. Instilled with a new confidence we set out, Vi for an office party, and I for greener pastures. 

AN: This is sort of just a short filler chapter, but it was necessary before we can get to action without leaving a huge gap. The real action chapter will be here around the 15th or 18th, if not earlier, so be looking for it! Please continue to star, and let me know what you think! What are you expecting? What do you want to see? I love hearing from you all. x Laurel