The Survivors

Chapter 11-Ayden Decides He's a Helpful Jerk

I curse to the wind feeling frustrated with everything. My head is spinning with questions and possibilities for everything to fall through. Why did I run? Why am I so panicked for someone I barely know, or even give a crap about? And yet, here I am. I am kneeling at Levi's side shaking him violently. He's soaking wet and is knocked out, still breathing.

I could have sworn that he had a panic attack because of that look in his eyes was a little worrying. Just a little. I don't care about Levi. I don't care about his feelings. I don't care about anyone. I never have and never will. If I care then I'll just get hurt in the end. I stopped trying years ago. I will never be loved so I won't love anyone else. I learned that the hard way.

"Wake up," I growl at him and shake him more. His freaky metal arm is gleaming in the sunlight and is hot to touch now. It's freaking me out that he doesn't have an arm. There's nothing there anymore. He said he lost it in a car accident that "supposedly" killed his mother who now is running around the island. I still don't know what to think about that. It's just too crazy for me.

And how did Teren's voice get fixed? It couldn't have been the water they forced him to drink, could it? This island is freaking me out, it's not normal I can feel it. And the whole plane instrument failure isn't a coincidence either. It doesn't even make sense of how we crashed. If it were the instrument's fault we would have just dropped to the earth. Not burst into flames and ripped in half. None of it fits together though I have a weird feeling it's connected.

"Levi wake up!" I shout at him and then slap him across the face. "Idiot, you can't faint like that! Come on! Everyone's running around like headless chickens without you!"

I glance nervously over my shoulder to find no one coming. I don't want them to see me like this. But I know they are all gathered around Teren who suddenly passed out at point blank. I ran back to get Lukas and Levi without a second thought, unsure why I did. But deep down I know Levi is our leader. But I'll never admit to it. Ever. And that Sam guy made me hate it even more. I hate being forced to do things. No one tells me what to do.

I slump back ready to give up and leave him here. Serves him right to miss all of this. He fainted like a baby. But then that stupid part of me tells me that he's stressed out and couldn't handle it for much longer. That I shouldn't judge him too harshly. After all, I've done the same thing. Except I had a solution. I had access to all the drinks I wanted. My father never liked me, he was a player with a cold heart.

He moved from woman to woman and did whatever to get what he wanted. In end, the girl lost everything. My mother was just another one of those girls. Except he actually married her. She died later on, suicide of course, a year after I was born so I never knew her. I always wondered why she did that. Leaving me with my father since I had no one else. Didn't she love me enough to live?

Later in life, I got used to my dad's routine. I used got to his drunken rages and abusive tendencies. I got used to the fact he hated me and shoved me away to do whatever. I got used to his "girls" being all over him and beating me occasionally when they feel brave. I got used to some of them trying to abuse me in other ways. But that was all after my nervous breakdown.

I was driven to the brink of madness at age thirteen. Suicidal and obsessed with the thought of my mother. Blaming myself for it. Hating her. Wounded for every time my father told me I was a mistake. My father came back from a cocktail party blind with drunkenness and rage. He broke my arm that night. He smashed my head into the coffee table, shattering it.

His woman took a turn as well. Telling me I was the byproduct of a stupid little girl. Who was she to mess with such a man? I broke. I attacked her and tried to rip her eyes out. Father did terrible things to me that night. Tied me to a chair, cutting my body and taking the ends of his cigarettes and burning me with the end. He smashed a bottle on my head. He nearly drowned me with alcohol.