That Boy Is Mine - LAMS

dix-huit

"im sorry!" alex panted, running out to the street.

john stood in the middle, mist surrounding him.

he began mouthing something to alex, but he couldnt hear anything over the sudden storms.

he heard a gunshot, and saw a lightning bolt struck john. alex screamed out, faintly feeling his vocal chords ripping themselves apart, and he woke up.

---- ---- ---- ----

"i had another dream." alex began, stirring his coffee with a spoon.

"another dream?" lafayette looked up, sipping on his cold glass of water. "is it–"

"yes." he replied. "the same one again. over. and over. and over again. but it gets less and less vivid everytime. which is good. but..."

"but?"

"it means i see john's face less and less too. im starting to lose memory of his features. he's becoming more and more blurry and–" alex stopped mid-sentence. "sorry, i shouldnt be bothering you with this you have so much on your chest already and i–"

"alex, alex." lafayette grabbed the boy's mug from him. "are you... sure youre alright? you havent been acting yourself lately."

alex bit back a retort, and simply replied with, "im fine."

"no youre not."

silence.

"do you want to talk about it? im– im here if you need me." lafayette offered, looking at him with concern.

"it just– i feel... like i want to kill everyone."

"oh?"

"ive been so irritable lately... everything annoys me. and i feel as if i've been more curt lately, too. everytime i see something that remotely relates to him... i panic. my throat closes up, my heart races and i cant even focus anymore. and then, for the next... hour or so– maybe more– i feel really down. and i..." alex shook his head. "no... no. no, im done. im sorry." he gave lafayette a fleeting look and rushed out of the coffee shop, leaving lafayette bewildered and worried.

---- ---- ---- ----

"did he say he felt like he was reliving the moment?"

"i dont know."
cn
"did he say that he wanted to distance himself from everyone?"

"i dont know."

"did he say he has difficulty concentrating?"

"i dont know, hercs."

hercules leaned back in his chair and groaned. "well then we dont know if its ptsd. should we shoot for depression?"

"sure."

if there was one thing you didnt know about hercules mulligan, its that he was a psychiatrist. he had a masters degree, a doctor's degree, and he had an MD. he went to college for several years and honestly? it was all worth it.

especially in this situation.

"okay. tell me everything you've noticed thats changed."

"his bags under his eyes are larger than usual. more visible. i noticed that he stirred his coffee for a worrying amount of time, and he didn't even drink it. um..." lafayette tapped his fingers against the surface of the table. "oh! he said he wanted to kill everyone."

hercules' eyes widened. "l-like–?"

"not that way." he shook his head. "he said he was annoyed easily now. more so than he was before. hes been snappier, i've noticed."

hercules sighed. "are you sure we arent looking too much into this? his best friend became an ex-boyfriend and died in the same week... wouldnt he be saddened because of this?"

lafayette looked out the window. "possibly. but we arent reacting that way. im really fucking hurt about what happened." he looked back at hercules. "but im not... as bad as he is."

"like i said–"

"i know, i know."

hercules pushed his chair out, the squeak of wood against wood making lafayette cringe. "im going to go–"

"he's been having dreams!" he blurted out, standing up quickly.

"of–?"

"yes." he sighed out. "he wakes up in a cold sweat every night."

hercules rubbed his thumb across his chin. "well... this changes things. have you been having dreams?"

"i-i didnt see much. it was all a blur."

"what exactly do you remember?"

"i remember seeing alex sit there in shock..." lafayette shivered. "in–in his..."

"i see." he cut him off, sparing himself from hearing the details. "i'll talk to him."