Where The Numb Meets The Lonely (SwanQueen)

Chapter Ten

Well the only thing that I know how to find
Is another vice
Mmm, another vice

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"Emma? Emma, wait!" Regina called out to the vacant beach. She looked left then right, unsure which way Emma may have gone. She froze for a minute, wondering if she should go back and wait at the house for Emma to return, knowing her bag and car were still there.

"Emma, I'm not giving up on you. You deserve happiness, too." She screamed out loud to nobody, her voice just washing away like the tide crashing on the shore.

She exhaled and decided to go left, following her gut feeling and praying it was correct. She ran as fast as she could, assuming Emma was probably running as well.

She quickly learned that she was wrong when she saw the long, blonde locks flowing in the wind but Emma's feet buried in the sand right where the tide reached its highest point on the shore.

Regina approached her slowly, afraid to scare her off and make her run again. When she was only a few feet away, she froze and just admired the way Emma was looking out at the water. She smiled then took a few steps forward until she was next to Emma.

"This is my favorite view. Do you want to know why?" Regina said softly.

Emma didn't look at her but she nodded slowly.

"Looking out and seeing nothing but the water for as far as the eye can see is soothing. It looks as if the water tapers off into the sky and it becomes one. There's nothing more settling than that."

"I agree." Emma said flatly as she dropped down to sit in the sand. The way the moon reflected on the water made her feel better and she kept looking out, thinking about what Regina just said.

"I'm sorry, Emma." Regina whispered as she sat down beside her in the sand as the water came over her toes, sending chills down her spine.

"I want the same things you do," Emma said so quietly that Regina barely heard it. "I want to be with you and be happy and have a family. I never knew I wanted any of that or could ever have that until I met you."

Regina reached out and placed her hand on Emma's smooth thigh and rubbed her fingers in slow circles. She remained silent, unsure of what to say next.

"I told you I'm hard to love... I run when there's a problem, I can't face my fears, I'm stubborn, I'm more afraid of who I am and what I want than I care to admit, and as messed up as this sounds, I always thought being alone was all I was good at. I don't need close friends or a family or a relationship. I had myself and could take care of myself. Being alone isn't as bad as it sounds." Emma's words kept pouring out and Regina watched her intently as Emma continued to speak while keeping her eyes on the horizon.

Regina once read that people find it easier to speak their minds when they are side by side and not looking directly at each other and she assumed this was the case. Emma could pretend she was just venting out loud to herself, but here she was, soaking up every word that formed on Emma's lips and even some of the thoughts she imagined were going through Emma's head.

She reached out her arm and wrapped it around Emma's shoulders, pulling her closer. "Regardless of all of that, it doesn't mean you're damaged or hard to love, it just means I need to fight for you and that's what I intend to do."

Emma finally turned to face Regina. "This is exactly what I meant when I said I don't deserve you."

"You deserve happiness. If that happiness isn't with me, then I can stop pushing you since I'm sure I'm not making this easy for you but —"