What Do You Want?

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Lena' POV:

It's Saturday night and Stef and I have chosen to stay in at her apartment instead of going to her coworkers retirement party. The last time I saw her she was licking her way down my stomach before we were interrupted and she had to go pick up her sick son. Realistically I knew we weren't picking up where we left off although I couldn't stop thinking about it all week. This was all new to Stef and I was letting her set the pace. And tonight we were moving at a snail's pace.

Stef's POV:

We ordered pizza and she brought a bottle of my favorite red to go with it.  As we sat and made small talk about the pizza place we ordered from and about work, I wasn't sure how things were going to progress. Last time we were together she had set a tone that stirred my insides into liquid heat.  But that exact feeling seemed to have passed even though it felt like it hadn't completely disappeared.  It lay bubbling just beneath the surface.

But my jitters were sure back. 10 fold. She made me so nervous. This was worse than when I lost my virginity.

Maybe that's because having sex with a man was what I thought I was supposed to do while having sex with Lena was something I wanted to do, and the difference was striking.

In many ways sleeping with her would be losing my virginity. I kissed a girl in college. We actually had a little fling but it never progressed passed drunken kissing. And while she stirred things inside me it was not even close to this.

Lena's POV:

I watched her intently as she finished the last of her wine, and then I moved off my stool and began cleaning up. I put my plate and glass in the sink then moved over to take hers. I purposely moved my body into her space, letting my breasts press into her arm as I reached across her to grab her wine glass. My mouth was close to her cheek as I did this and I could hear her shudder just slightly as my body invaded her personal space. As I pulled the wine glass back she reached out and grabbed my wrist to stop me.

"Lena..." she almost whispered.

"What do you need baby?"

"You..." she moaned as she turned her body towards me bringing me between her legs.

I dropped the wine glass as I tangled my hands in her hair kissing her mouth breathlessly. She wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist as I leaned into her aligning our bodies perfectly.

Our lips meshed together, opening just enough to tease with the tips of our tongues, and I held the sides of her head in my hands holding her in place. My mouth tasted and teased hers as she wrapped her arms tighter around my waist and groaning in frustration when she couldn't get me any closer.

"Come here," I said quietly as I kissed her lips one last time and took her hands in mine leading her off the stool.

"Do you trust me?"

Stef's POV:

She took my hands and begin leading me towards her bedroom. My mouth went completely dry and I couldn't speak. I didn't know what to say. Everything below my waist, and even some parts above it, wanted this. But my head still resisted. I didn't know what to do so I just followed her.

She wouldn't push me to do anything I wasn't ready for. She was being so patient even though I could see and feel her desire. As frustrating as it was for me it had to be worse for her. She knew what she was missing. I could only imagine.

She led me into her bedroom which was very feminine but nothing remarkable. Actually maybe it was remarkable but I didn't notice because my eyes were too focused on her double bed, neatly made with cream colored sheets and a matching comforter.

I lick my lips as she brings me to one side and tells me to lay down. She moves over to the other side and does the same. We both scoot to the middle lying face to face but not quite touching. She reaches up to my face and pushes my hair back, playing with it as she smooths it down.

"Are you nervous?"

"Um, yes" I sputter.

"About what?"

I close my eyes and sigh deeply. This is so embarrassing.

"Stef...  Stef...  look at me. This is a lot I know. But we have to honest with each other. I can't help you feel comfortable unless I know what makes you uncomfortable.  Is it the sex?  Actually I know it is, but what specifically..."

I don't know what to say. Actually I do know what to say. I just don't know how to say it without dying from embarrassment. Talking about sex wasn't something I was comfortable with. I just did it, once in a while saying no when I didn't like something but never mentioning when I did.

"It's um...  it's uh... "

Oral sex. I say the words in my head but they won't come out of my mouth.

"Ok. I see how hard this is for you and that's okay baby. How about I name different things and you tell me if you're okay with it."

"Okay"

Lena's POV:

I try to be as gentle as possible with her as I see how hard even talking about sex is for her. I hate to see her this out of  touch with her own body and her own feelings  because I know somewhere in there there is someone that wants to enjoy it. I caught glimpses of it when she allowed herself to let go briefly but something always pulled her back.  I put my hand on her face and rub my thumb across her bottom lip as I ask:  "Kissing?"  She shakes her head no.

"I like that" she says quietly.

"Touching?"  Again she shakes her head no.

"Breasts?" I ask dragging my finger across her jawline down to her chest, leaving the tip of my index finger on the swell of her breast softly caressing it.

"Touching them?  Kissing them?"  She shakes her head no to both but not as confidently as the first two answers.

I drag my finger down the side of her breast and across her stomach. Her shirt has ridden up slightly and the smooth skin above the button of her jeans is exposed. I bring my finger down and across the soft skin and play lightly in that area just above her jeans.

"What if I kiss you here?" I ask indicating her stomach. "Or here?" I ask tracing over the button of her jeans... lower... "Here?" ... lower over the outline of her zipper...  "How about..." she hisses as I press my finger along the seam between her legs.

"Oral sex" she finally says looking up and away from me as she says it.

"Giving or receiving?" I ask

"Both"

"It's not all about oral Stef," I start to say.

"It's not?"

"People accustomed to hetero sex assume that because penetrative sex is the ultimate goal of straight sex, oral sex must be the goal of lesbian sex and anal sex must be the goal of gay sex.  But in reality there is so much more to it than that."

"So you don't want.."

"Oh no. I want that. I really...  want... that. I want to taste you in every way possible...  especially between your legs.  And eventually I hope you want to do the same to me. But we don't have to start with that. There are other things we can do."

"Like what?"

"That depends. Do you want me to tell you?  Or do you want me to show you?"

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