I assume this list is pretty horrible but maybe not, this is like the longest chapter in this entire book and probably one of my favorites. I haven't exactly reread it yet but it's probably not horrible, enjoy!
1.) Sleep on the display beds. If they try to wake you up say "Go away mom! You can't control me!"
2.) Open a box of cereal, continue to eat while walking throughout the store
3.) If you're older (like 16-whatever) go up to a sales clerk and ask "Have you seen my mommy"
4.)Pull up a lawn chair to the tvs (Works best if the tv is off) watch the tv. When someone questions you tell them "Pull up a chair it's getting to the best part"
5.) Bring a CD player and begin to open and play CDs
6.)Go through the entire store trying to find the total of all the merchendise
7.) Ask a sales clerk how much the building would cost. Tell them you couldn't find the barcode
8.) Set up a Barbie vs. G-I-Joe battlefield that takes up an entire aisle
10.) Go idiot fishing, put money on the end of a fishing pole and see who grabs it
11.) When someone talks over the intercom grasp your head and yell SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
12.) Attempt to throw 20 balls at the same worker
13.) Bring a parakeet
14.) Sleep on the convear belt.
15.) Have a tea party
16.) Bring a gag puke leave it on random places in the store
17.) Stand as still as possible for as long as possible near a group of maniqunes. When you can't keep it up any longer walk away complaining they don't pay you enough for this
18.) Try out all the nail polishes (Works best if your a guy) Complain that they all make you look to pasty
19.) Swatch all the makeup (Also works best if male) Complain that no one ever has the right color
20.) Plug in a straightner/waver/curler and start doing your hair in the store
21.) Put your friend in one of the kiddy leashes have them drag you around the store
22.) Throw an item of clothing outside of the security beeper things, run away
23.) Sit in the busiest cross-section in the store, read
24.) Have your friend dress up in a dog coustume, insist they're a seeing eye dog. Have them read labels and boxes outloud.
25.) Have conversations about your goldfish with the return workers
26.) Set up a pillow fort YAY
27.) Be rude
28.) Try to bargin the prices at checkout
29.) Have a VERY important stuffed animal surgery
30.) Try to play your own movies in the DVD players
31.) Sign all the computers up for spam... lots and lots of spam
32.) Check your phone then say "Yes! Another murder to solve!" Run out the door with your coat wipping majesticly in the wind
33.) Wear red stained surgeon gloves and run in asking "WERE ARE YOUR BAND-AIDS?!"
34.) Have chariot races with your friends using shopping carts
35.) Follow someone around, watch their every move and repeat it carefull to be exact
36.) Smash all the pots in search of rubies (Legend of Zelda moment)
37.) Joust using shopping carts and mops
38.) Start reciting a movie, don't stop.
39.) Start pulling up the flooring
40.) Set up an art eisal and some paints and paint some yogurt
41.) Turn off all the lights
42.) Cry hysterically in fetal position
43.) Hide in the bathroom refuse to come out
44.) Throw dog treats at someone yelling "Roll Over!!!"
45.) Ask everyone if they've seen you're pet Boa Constricter, Lucy
46.) Grab an old persons' hand and say I see dead people
47.) Ask a worker how long you're supposed to wait before you eat the de-molded food
48.) Walk up to the check out counter and ask for a double cheeseburger and hold the lettuace (I think most of you know where that's going)
49.) Open a bag of candy start eating
50.) Start reading...in a freezer
51.) TP the bathroom
52.) Destroy all the TVs with a baseball bat
53.) Hide an empty shoebox in your shirt, give a sigh of relief when you walk through the detectors
54.) Dress up as a creepypasta walk slowly through the store watch everyone
55.) Bring a hamster, insist it's a seeing eye hamster
56.) Scream hysterically when someone looks at you, run away stumbling. ALOT
57.) Throw an obese whale at the supermarket and run
58.) Blast your music
59.)Slap someone *shrugs
60.) Start a fight over ...... The amazing TYLER OAKLEY!!!
Sooooooo I meant to upload this earlier but ya know it takes forever bae, lol. Sorry it took so long. Luv u my fluffy marshmallow army of children XD
YOU ARE READING
Random Book of Random
RandomA book in which I rant and kinda just spew my life and ideas all over, hopefully you'll enjoy, as that is the end goal. ((side note)) I started writing this book when I was in sixth grade and in the deepest depths of my randomness phase, although m...
