Ever So Lightly- Book 1

34

Now that Zephyr was in his arms, pressed tightly to his side, her silver strands of still damp hair brushing against his neck, Jasper was afraid he would be unable to let her go. The rain had died down to a light pattering, thin lines of moonlight sneaking through the barn roof. Turning his head, Jasper could just make out the profile of the young woman curled against him. Her eyes, heavy with sleep, watched the slivers of sky above, one of her hands fiddling with the bottom of his shirt that she still wore, the other entwined in his own. After entering the barn and wringing as much of their clothing dry as the could, Jasper had pulled Zephyr down next to him into a small pile of old, dry hay stuffed into a corner of the building where they still lay side by side.

Jasper wanted nothing more that to pull her face to his, to feel her soft mouth, to have her hands pressing and pulling against him once more. To lose himself in what his mind, his body, his soul longed for. But he couldn't lose himself, not yet. He instead waited for Zephyr to say whatever it was she had been trying to put into words the last few minutes as she all but destroyed the bottom of his shirt. After a few more moments, Jasper felt her soft inhale next to him.

"I don't think I'm ready to say... to say certain things yet." Jasper smiled at her words, again waiting for her to continue, her voice small but sure. "I still feel like this isn't the right time. I wish I could have just said that to you, back at the inn, instead of panicking the way I did." She turned on to her side to face him, her eyes smiling but sad. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

Jasper shook his head, his gaze pulling away to stare up at the ceiling. "You have nothing to apologize for, Zephyr. Stars know I messed up, and I've beat myself up plenty for it." He paused, a smile tugging at his lips. "You seem to have forgiven me though." He gave her a mischievous glance, to which Zephyr responded with a huff and a pinch to his side. Jasper yelped, laughing, and rolled away. Sitting up on his knees, he pulled Zephyr up with him. They sat that way, facing each other, leaning in ever so slightly, for several silent seconds. Zephyr finally looked away, a hint of sadness framing her features.

"You always seem so strong, so sure. And I spend half of my time scared of what's going to happen. I have no idea what's in store when we get to the mountains. And now that I know who... what I am, it's so much worse." She finally looked back at him, and Jasper's heart sang at the adoration in her eyes. "If I could just be the same person I used to be, I would be yours. But I don't even know who I am anymore. Who I'm supposed to be."

Jasper took three long breaths before speaking, taking her hands in his own and holding them curled against his chest. "I don't expect you to be anyone for me. If you told me that you never wanted to talk about tonight again, I'd be your silent soldier until the end. Knowing that I'm not crazy, that you feel even the tiniest fraction of what I do, that's enough. When we get to the mountains, you're going to be pulled in a million directions. And I'm here for whatever you choose." Zephyr's eyes squeezed shut, a silent tear tracking down each of her cheeks. "All I ask is that you're always honest with me. And I'll try not to fold in on myself like I did today." Zephyr gave a small laugh at that.

"So when we get there, when things go crazy and our lives turn upside down again, I'll be waiting for you. We can figure all of this," Jasper pressed his forehead to hers, "out in the aftermath of it all. I promise."

"In the aftermath," she said with a small nod, her voice barely more than a whisper. "A promise in the aftermath."

They sat that way, silent and steady, rain beating out a rhythm above, for a long while. A moment of near clarity in a sea of chaos, and Jasper wasn't ready to let it go. He finally felt that he had kept a piece of his promise to Nakomi. That maybe,just this once, Zephyr had found someone instead of losing them. He knew he had. She was like a reborn star in the endless black sky, barely beginning to glow, and he would do everything in his power to help her shine for her entire world. Whether that meant standing behind her or beside her.