Falling Into Your Arms [Tokyo Ghoul: Female!Kaneki x Tsukiyama Shuu] BOOK 3

19

"What was Shuu saying about your uncle?" Ayato asked. He'd been pestering Ken ever since they left.

"Nothing, Ayato, just drop it."

"He knows things about you that I don't know! How can I drop it?!" he said, his voice rising, and Ken looked around nervously to see if anyone was watching them.

"It's nothing, okay?! And yeah, he knows things because he was with me during a really difficult time! And I'm not sure how he even found out. Hide must have told him. But it's nothing!"

"But it's not fair!" Ayato yelled. "I wasn't there because Hide told me it would be best for you if I stayed away. And then he just comes into your life, a total stranger, and he doesn't even try to be understanding! He dumped you, Ken! While you were in the hospital! What the hell! Why are you protecting a guy like that?"

"Why are you getting angry at me?" Ken asked, taking a step away from Ayato because sometimes he scared her. He could get pretty intense when he was upset. "I couldn't control everything in my life! If I could, do you think I would have let my mom die? Do you think I would have moved in with my aunt?"

"I don't know because you never tell me anything! What was so bad about your aunt?"

Ken shook her head, frustrated. "Nevermind!"

"That asshole knows, doesn't he?" Ayato asked, grabbing Ken's wrist so she couldn't twist away and avoid him. "He knows, doesn't he?!"

Ken broke his grip and moved away from him. "Don't do that to me! You know I hate that!" she said, her eyes tearing up. She hated it when people touched her forcefully, even if it was just to tug on her sleeve. It made her feel helpless. It brought her back to worse times, darker times.

She'd told Shuu that she was over everything, and that was true in part. She was moving on, ready to open herself, but that didn't mean she wasn't afraid of getting hurt.

"I..." Ayato looked down at his hand. "I..." He shook his head. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm being an asshole. Just-" he broke off, looking away. "I'll see you later." He took off in the opposite direction, taking the long way back to his apartment and leaving Ken alone.

That was how their relationship had been. He truly cared about Ken, but sometimes, when she needed him most, he wasn't there. Ken knew it was mostly her fault and that he was right, she didn't tell him important things.

But sometimes, Ken just needed someone who understood her and was okay with not knowing everything. Someone who would just focus on making her feel better.

Like Shuu had, until she'd shut him out with rules and boundaries.

Ken immediately felt guilty for thinking about Shuu. She really liked Ayato. He was just hard to handle sometimes, but that was how he was - a little unstable and intense. Sometimes, intense was good, like if he was intensely happy or loving or caring. But sometimes wasn't always.

Ken walked back alone to her shared apartment with Hide.