again [✓]

ten

*slight mentions of rape, will be marked with stars, stay safe please <33*

he held him close to his chest, running his back. his hand moved from his back, to the back of his head and through his hair, and back to his back.

there was a comfortable silence surrounding the room, leading junhui to think minghao had fallen asleep, the thought bringing a smile to the olders face.

"hui?"

junhui looks down at the smaller boy, humming in response, while continuing to play with his hair.

"whyd you leave? like, you left all of a sudden, and you blocked me."

junhui sighed, closing his eyes. he took a deep breath, continuing to run his hands through the youngers hair.

"its kind of an, insecurity? would that be right?"

minghao nodded, his eyes still shut softly.

"yeah.. an insecurity. i dated a guy, and he was kind of manipulative? not kind of, uh, he was really manipulative."

minghao sensed the stress lingering behind junhuis voice, so he pressed a kiss to his jaw, keeping his lips there for a few seconds, before whispering.

"take your time hui, i have all day."

junhui nods, taking a deep breath and swallowing roughly.

"he uh, he made me feel like i was always the bad guy. if i didnt want to do something, it was wrong. he made me seem toxic."

minghao rubbed his chest in attempt to comfort him.

**********

"but he was really the one who was toxic. i felt horrible with him, i would go as far as hating him. i uh, i lost my virginity to him, he forced me into it. not physically, but uh, he made me feel like shit because i didnt want to do it. he called me so many things that made me feel like shit, all because i didnt want to lose my virginity. and i still feel like shit about it."

*********

minghao was on the brink of tears, watching the guy who had always been this strong, cocky guy who was so confident in anything involving himself slowly break down in front of him.

his first tear fell when he took junhui's hamd, squeezing it lightly, and muttering a soft i love you so much.

"and even though i know none of that was my fault, im still terrified that i'll come off as manipulative or toxic to you. i felt like i was secretly hurting you."

minghao shook his head, tears not stopping.

"you did nothing wrong, junhui. you made me the happiest boy, and you still do. youre so damn special to you, did you know? you have a big part of my heart, and you have for over 2 years, and i dont plan on letting you leave again."

it didnt hit him until those very words had left minghaos mouth, that oh my god, i am so in love with xu minghao.