Star-Crossed

Chapter Sixteen: There ain't a language for the things I feel

IT FEELS LIKE I am floating through space and through time itself. My body feels weightless like I am resting on a cloud, drifting along the skies and letting that cloud take me wherever it chooses. In this moment, I don't feel like Rania Fellows.

I feel like I am her.

My limbs do not even feel the same. They feel longer, more willowy-which is the form of a typical Niburian. My hair, too, feels longer, heavier on my head as I drift on this cloud.

When my eyes open, I am floating in space, looking at myself in a mirror, and sure enough, she is staring back at me. She is beautiful in a way Rania Fellows is not. More goddess than alien. She has long, thick pitch black hair and smooth dark brown skin. Her features consist of heavy-lidded eyes the color of blue tinted diamonds, beneath her straight nose are full lips which are pressed together in a thin line as she stares at me like she's sizing me up. Around her eyes are warlike tattoos, they create a mask around her striking eyes, making her more lovely than she already is.

She is dressed in a dress that is billowing in some not-really-there wind, like something from a manga. The dress is the color of a polished emerald and it clings to her perfect figure in a way that makes envy curl in my chest. As the not-really-there wind blows, the dress shifts, revealing her long, smooth legs.

"Child," she whispers, "will you help me?"

I feel myself questioning what she wants rather than asking her. I feel that I somehow am unable to speak. I have not yet been born, I am still in my mother's womb.

"Help you how?" I feel myself wonder.

"There is one who I love," she whispers to me, coming closer. "I wish to be with him always, but my body is dying. Will you share yours with me?"

When she comes to stand right in front of me, I see that her face is covered in tears, her ethereal face desperate. She folds her hands together in pleading, falling to her knees in front of me, sobs racking her body.

"Please, child, you are the only one I have found who can withstand my soul without it being overbearing." She looks up pleadingly. "I cannot leave him alone. He is all there will ever be for me. I promised to be at his side forever." She shakes her head bitterly. "We have only just confessed our love and already I'm betrayed and killed in my own home." She scoffs before looking at me, her gaze steely now. "A war is coming, young one. I was murdered and I cannot let that go unavenged, I need you to grow up, to grow strong so that we can return to our love, so that we can return to Niburu."

I can feel myself wondering about this person that she loves, can feel myself wondering what's so special about him. I find myself thinking that he will never love me because I am not her.

She smiles shakily, somehow hearing my thoughts. She stands and touches my face gently, almost like that of a mother.

"My love is the bravest man that exists in all Nine Sectors. He is often accused of being cold and unkind, but what I do know is that it's not my body that he loves, it's my soul. We promised each other-many years before the woman who carries you was born, many years before her grandparents were born-that no matter what, I would love him and he would love me, no matter what guise we wear.

"When my soul merges with yours, I, Rania of the Cosmos will be gone forever. But you, Rania of Earth will stay here and retain my memories. You will give your love to the man I love most in this world and who you, too, will grow to love so deeply, so intensely, you will be terrified." Tears spill down her face, her voice growing thick. "You will give him a reason to go on. You will give him a second chance."

She opens her diamond like eyes, looking straight at me. She steps away from me quickly, her face twisting in pain, blood suddenly soaking the emerald colored gown she is wearing.

"Please, child," she begs desperately, eyes growing wide. "I do not have much time. I am not long for this world. Will you grant me this final request?" Her lips wobble as if she's expecting me to say no.

And maybe I should have.

Except I don't.

I feel myself agreeing to her terms. I look deep inside myself and find that I sympathize with this woman. I have not yet been born, but somehow I understand what love is. Somehow I understand how deep her love is and I will do whatever I can to help her.

She smiles, but it is one of those broken hearted smiles. It's a smile that someone smiles when they know the one they love will love someone else. Because she loves him, she is happy that his heart will still love, but at the same time, she wants to be the only one he will ever love.

As tears continue to fall down her exceptionally lovely face, she reaches a hand out for me. When I mimic her gesture, I see that where my hand should be, there is only a ball of light.

When our hands meet, she begins to fade, turning into blue energy. That blue energy begins to disappear into me, bonding with me and filling me with an unknown kind of energy.

As she disappears, she whispers, "Love him with all your heart. Remember that his soul is all that there will ever be for you."

And then she is gone, her energy fading into me and becoming one with mine.