Keeping Quiet

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Dustin's POV

I sat next to Ross, keeping quiet. Everyone else at the table was asking Ross about himself and what he's been up to. My mom was bombarding him with questions. I felt bad for Ross since he was getting all these questions thrown at him.

But I wasn't thinking about that right now, I was thinking about how guilty I feel. I really do feel guilty and I want to tell Ross about everything but...I can't. I've been trying to convince myself to do it but I can't bring myself to it. I know that when I tell him I will lose him and he will hate me forever. I can't even stand thinking about that.

I was pulled back to reality when I didn't hear any noise around me. I looked up to see everyone staring at me. "What?"I asked, looking around at everyone confused.

My mom rolled her eyes. "Why aren't you eating your food?" She asked me with a concerned look.

I looked down at my food to see that I've only had a couple bites. "Oh, I'm not very hungry." I said while looking back up to my mom.

Her eyes went wide. "You? Not hungry? Do you have a fever?" She asked concerned while putting her hand to my forehead.

I pushed her arm away. "Yes, I'm fine." I looked over at Ross to see him looking amused. And there's the guiltiness. Every single time I look at him I feel guilty. I'm not going to be able to keep this secret from him. I'll tell him the first moment we're alone, and hopefully he forgives me.

I was, once again, brought back to reality when my mom clapped really loudly. "Okay everyone, let's open presents." My sister cheered and ran from the table and into the living room to the Christmas tree. My mom ran quickly after her to make sure that she didn't rip open any presents. Everyone else laughed as they got up from the table and followed after them.

Ross stood up from his chair and turned towards me. "You coming?" He asked.

I looked up at him to see him smiling and waiting patiently. "Umm...yeah." I said to him. I got up and started towards the living room, but he stopped me by grabbing my wrist.

I turned around and looked at him. "Is everything okay?" He asked, worriedly.

I turned away and looked down at the ground, I just couldn't look at him. Every single time I look at him I feel guilty. My heart hurts and my stomach turns, but it's not in a good way. It's not like when you're falling in love.

"Yeah, I'm just not feeling very well." I responded.

He put two fingers under my chin and raised my head to look at him. "Are you sure?" He asked, concern lacing his voice.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Okay." He grabbed my hand and we went into the living room. We walked in to see everyone talking and waiting for us.

Me and Ross sat down on one of the couches. The conversation died down and that's when my sister asked. "Can I open a present now?" We all chuckled and my mom nodded her head. She started opening a present and then the rest. There wasn't really any important gifts, just the usual: sweaters, kitchen appliances, gift cards, etc..

I was pulled from my thoughts when Ross tapped my arm. I looked over at him to see him smiling softly. "I have a present for you." He got up and grabbed my hand.

We left the room and walked up to my room where he went straight to his luggage and started digging. That's when I realized that we were alone, this would be the perfect time to tell him. Hopefully he takes it well.

"Ross, I have to tell-"

"Wait." He said while holding a finger up to me.

"No, Ross this is really im-"

"Got it!" He cut me off again as he pulled out a little box out of his backpack. He walked over to me and handed me the box. "Open it." He said.

I looked up at him before looking back at the box. I slowly slid the black top off the bottom and looked inside. I gasped as I saw a silver chain connected to one half of a heart. I pulled it out to see that it read, "I Love Ross". I stared at it for a moment before looking up at Ross.

"Where's the other half?" I asked him.

He pulled his shirt down a little and grabbed the little silver chain from around his neck. He pulled the necklace out and let it lay around his neck. I looked closer at it to see that his half read, I Love Dustin".

I smiled at it and looked up at Ross. He was smiling down at me. "Do you like it?" He asked me. I giggled while nodding my head.

He hugged me and that's when it dawned on me that I never told him that I cheated on him. Well I can't tell him now, it'll break his heart. Plus it would ruin this perfect moment. I pulled away from the hug and looked down at the ground.

He put his hand under my chin and pulled my head up. "Hey," he started. "I love you."

I breathed in sharply before smiling. "I love you too." I said truthfully.

He moved his head closer to mine and connected our lips. I kissed him back even though I was feeling super guilty. I still love him and his kisses and I really want to tell him but I don't want to hurt him. I don't know what to do.

Maybe Veronica is right.

Jesus, please help me! I need it.

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