The First Lady's Choice

Chapter Ten

Awkward situation to tough decisions...

The time had come to send off a wonderful individual, Miss Ruby Winters. She will truly be missed by so many. The gloomy day was just a small reminder of the day that is stuck in my own mind. The day I said my final farewell's to my daddy, the first man I ever loved and showed me love. Funerals, I dread going to them with a serious passion. To witness the tears, heartache, and despair on the family's faces always sends me into my own downward spiral of emotions.

Tre has been a bit distant ever since that awkward situation in the back of the church. I still have no clue what came over either one of us. To be honest, I have no clue who initiated the contact. One minute, I was thinking in the worst-case scenario realm, that maybe he would be electrocuted if he flipped the power and the next I was running away. Being so close to him at that moment, something came over me that was so strong. Chest to breast as best as it would get seeing as that he was taller than me, our lips met briefly.

The revelation of what had taken place was such a shock that I jumped away from him as if a snake had struck me. No matter if it felt incredible, there was no way I could entertain anything of that nature with someone who wasn't my husband. William didn't deserve betrayal of that magnitude even if he has been missing in action lately. Although my doubts of my marriage were ever more prominent, it still didn't give me a pass to act like a harlot.

Lately the rumor mill has kicked into serious whisper mode. Some piece of information is so juicy that it's penetrated the church walls and a few people that normally steer clear of gossip seemed to be entertaining it. The whispers, accusatory stares, and now the looks of pity were almost unbearable. I chose to keep the peace by doing my best to ignore the tension building. Although curious as to what the tea is, I can't go back on my resolve not to entertain idle gossip.

The feeling that all the chatter is about me is what makes me want to go back on my word but that would only make me a hypocrite along with other things. It is bad enough I feel extremely guilty for my slipup with Tre and now I want to tune into the gossip station. When I first arrived in Dallas and became acquainted with the women of the church they attempted to pull me into their many cliques. Immediately, I made it clear I didn't entertain those type of conversations.

Whatever, whoever, and that entire ruckus was not something I needed to hear. A lot of women may have assumed I was snubbing my nose at them or that I thought I was better than they were after I made my stance clear. That couldn't have been further from the truth, it was just something my mother always told me. 'If they will gossip to you, they will gossip about you,' so I always steered clear of the commotion. There was enough pressure on me to live up to the first lady who came before me; there wasn't room for my faults to be spread like butter.

Vette and I got along perfectly, furthermore solidifying my need for 'no new friends.' Besides Tre, no one has gotten that close to me in a while. I don't consider anyone else as a friend, associate maybe but definitely not friends. At this point in my life, William is a far cry from being my friend honestly. We don't have anything in common anymore. Our entire relationship is starting to feel like a ruse, filled to the brim with falseness. Still my vows are just that, a promise before God to stick it out no matter the growing uneasiness.

That may contribute to what happened with Tre. Although it melted my heart and soothed my soul, it wasn't right to engage him in that manner. What if circumstances were reversed? If William had done something like that to me, I would have been devastated. Even though I have had my share of feeling disrespected by William lately, I don't think he has taken things quite that far. Who am I fooling? Deep down I know something is going on with him and it's not all holy. I just don't have accurate proof.