Freedom Without Wings

0.8: Grief

((Trigger Warning: Depresssing thoughts, I do not have writer's block, my writer just hates the clock))

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Kyleigh's Point Of View

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My heart was pounding my chest and my hands felt too sweaty for me to handle this situation.

There was a picture attached to the last message. 

My eyes watered as I saw something horrid.  Sam was hung by a noose.  On her arms, there were words spelling "Welcome to Hell."  Her shirt was torn enough to be able to see her stomach cut open, showing all her intestines intact.  In the back, that monster wrote with my love's blood "All Angel's die, you couldn't save the one you loved :)"

'You worthless idiot.'

'You couldn't save the one who save you.'

'You're an ungrateful little shit aren't you?'

'If only you didn't go with Tabris, then she would've been alive.'

'You can't rewind time, you can't save her.'

'Who's the real monster here?  You or your thoughts?'

'You did create this downward spiral which took the life you wanted.'

'You were the one who stopped her life in a sense.'

'How, oh, how will you repay for this?'

'You always called her 'your Angel,' but you couldn't be hers.'

'What a shame.'

'If you didn't exist, she'd be alive still.'

'You are the one who killed her.'

'You killed her.'

'You killed her.'

'You killed her.'

'You killed her.'

'You killed her.'

'You killed her.'

'You killed her.'

'You killed her.'

'YOU KILLED HER!'

I wake up from my trance, "Four days, since hell started.."

I trudged up the stairs and went to my truck.  I opened the door and sat in the driver seat.  I cried, leaning on my steering wheel.  "She's gone.  I can't believe it happened so fast..  In four damn days.."

I lie on the storage unit in my truck, crying.  I was trying to reach where Sam used to sit.  I remember how many times she had comforted me when my depression hit.  I remember how many times she calmed me down.  I remember how many times I had told her "Everything's going to be okay, my angel."   I remember that she would get anxious and I'd give a smile and tell her "You're gonna do fine, angel.."  I can't keep my promises.  "M..merrily we fall.. out of line, out of line."  My voice breaks as I sing the line that represent the two of us so well.

I keep trying to reach for the beauty's hands, but it's still faint.  I can't hold on to this life if she isn't there with me.  From when we were only thirteen, she was there to bring me up from perdition.  But now, there isn't any color.  There isn't any happiness, only.. grief.. Anxiety, depression, a horrible, horrible web of emotions I can't control.  There is only the regrets that I have, not being able to be with the girl I loved most.

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Five days later

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I don't have any need to get out of this vehicle.  I'm still trying to reach for the girl I love, trying to have at least one  spirit tell me where she is.  Alexus was trying to comfort me.  She tries to tell me to let go, that this is one of the many conditions of living like a hunter.  "Kyleigh," She says, trying to make her normally gravelly voice seem soft.  "You need to get back on your feet kid.  You'll find someone else."  "..stop telling me that." I tell the woman.  "I'll say it one more-"  I swatted the ghost away, ruining her form.  She then turns to mist, disappearing.

"Get up!" Tabris's high pitched voice tells me.  "You haven't eaten in 126 hours!  C'mon!  Eat!"  "No thank you," I say, hearing my stomach grumble.  "Kyleigh, please."  Tabris says.  I hear someone knock on the window.  I raised my voice, "It's open!"  I see a tall man with his hair ending at his nape.  "What do you want?"  "You're Kyleigh, right?"  "No," I say, looking away from the man, "She's long gone."

"I'm taking that as a yes," He says, sitting in Sam's seat.  "Get out of that seat." My voice wobbly.  "Sorry." He says, standing up again.  He wears multiple layers, on flannel, another a t-shirt, and a jacket.  "Don't be," I say, "What's your name?"

"I'm Sam Winchester."  The male says.  I turn to him with an angered look, "Get out, forget I talked to you okay?"

"Fine, just.. here take this."  He hands me his phone and some video footage.  I pressed the play button, I was shown a familiar scene.  "Sammy's house.." I say in shock.  "I got into the security cameras, it was multiple monsters.  Vamps, wolves, and demons.  Not really surprising because of the-"

There was a loud static and a black eyed demon says, "Should've listen to your guts and gone after her.  The girl's dead.  Her soul's doomed to hell.  Well, look at that!"  The man begins the vandelize Sam's body and- "Hey!"  The taller Winchester says, grabbing the device.  "We'll track him down, but the apocalypse's gonna-" "I don't care!" I say, reaching my breaking point.  I stand up and went over the tall man,  "I can't do this okay?!  My thoughts are saying I'm weak. my gut's telling me I can't do this, and my Angel is the weakest one!  Even God thinks I'm weak!  I can't do this, I can't help you guys with the apocalypse!  I'm... I'm.."  I lost all the words I was going to say, as I was engolfed into a hug by a giant.

"Don't worry, you don't have to fight alone." Sam says, kneeling to hug me.  "We're going to beat Lucifer, beat Lilith whoever the hell stands our way.  You hear me?"  I nod, not wanting another sound from my mouth.  Sam stands up and smiles at my small figure, "We will  win this."

'Kyleigh, you're not thinking of leaving, are you?'

'I don't think I handle having a hunter friend with the same name as my dead angel, but I'm going to stay.  For the world's sake.  I guess.'

'Are you okay though?'

'My worst nightmare came to life, what do you believe?'

'That I feel bad and I wished I kept my promise.'

'Don't make promises you can't keep.'