Find Your Fire - The Angulus Chronicles #1

Chapter Five

After class, the four of us walked back to the school and I went straight to my bedroom. Holy moly guacamoley, I was tired. The long school day came to an end and most of the time I needed a reset after being around so many people, all that smiling and talking, and what I needed right now was a good old nap. Yes, a nap sounded good.

When I entered my room, I kicked my shoes off and readied myself for a running leap to the neatly-made, inviting bed, but my reflection in the mirror kept me from doing the summersault. It had been a pretty while since I had truly looked at myself and the talk with Orin about my world had awoken some black memories. Memories I'd rather not think about. I turned to face the mirror and cautiously looked at myself as Orins earlier words echoed through my head. Sounds like a shit-hole to me. Mixed feelings circled to the surface when I thought about the times I couldn't face the mirror and even now, most of the time, I tried to avoid really looking at myself. I didn't really know why I was doing it now, actually, but here I was, standing in front of the mirror, my heart almost beating out of my chest.

The first thing I noticed were my brown curls, that appeared to be a frizzy crown on my head after all the sweat I produced today, and the dark freckles that were a slight contrast to my tan skin. I looked tired but- ... at peace. I dragged my finger over my freckled cheek and recalled the days where I couldn't get out of bed because of it.

"You never fully explained the reason for your unhappiness in the human world, you know."

I quickly turned around to find Orin leaning in the doorway, a worried smile on her face. I quickly looked to the ground as shame found me. It was hard talking about what I went through, and I always tried my hardest to hide the thoughts about my past from my friends, but Orin always knew what was bothering me and right now, she looked like she wasn't going to let this one slide.

She closed the door and walked over to my bed. The springs of my bed creaked under her weight as she sat atop of it. Oh gosh, I had to tell her. I knew it was better to talk about these things but actually talking about your own inner demons was just scary as hell.

"Is it because I asked about your world today? Do those questions make it worse?" Orins voice was soft.

I gave myself a mental push and walked over to the bed as well. Shit, shit, shit. Not a lot of stuff scared me but this somehow got me nervous. Unease coiled in my stomach and my hands shook slightly. Okay, don't be such a pussy, Cat. Ha, pussycat. I should be comedian. Some people would tell me not to make such a big deal out of it, but I was afraid once I brought up the facts, once it laid there in the open, Orin wouldn't know what to say and realize I was more fucked up than she had thought.

After one last push, I finally looked up to meet Orins gaze. The brown in her eyes held curiosity, compassion and some kind of sadness that always seemed to linger there. I had never actually asked about her past, what her life was like before the Angulus, what she had been through. Some parents didn't take it well when it turned out their child had to leave to become an Angulus. Some kids were beloved prizes, ready to be married away like some piece of furniture. Some kids were used as slaves. The list went on and on. I think you can imagine that those parents would do anything in their power to keep their child from going away, and I knew Orin had parents like that as well, I just didn't know for what reason.

"Cat?" Orin interrupted my inner conversation, her brow slightly raised now.

"I'm fine, don't worry. Your questions don't make it worse but it did remind me of how my life used to be." I gave her a small smile but it didn't reach my eyes. "First of all, O, I want you to know that I've never told you about this because I'm embarrassed to talk about it, not because I don't trust you."