Annex's Point of View #People'sChoiceFYWC2017

vierundzwanzig

I don't know what to feel. Hurt or pity. Heck, I don't even know whom to feel it for; for me or for him.

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin nang nag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin. Napatingin ako sa tahimik na kalsada sa mansyon kung saan kami unang nagkakilala. I smiled bitterly, this mansion was also the place where we became secretly official. Turns out it's theirs.

"A-Anne." Nahihirapan niyang tawag sa akin. Para bang may pinipigilan siyang luha sa paraan ng pagtawag niya. I didn't dare look just to see if his eyes are pooling with tears.

Mine already transformed into a fall. A fall so deep that it run down my face silently.

"P-please, I like you Anne. I really do." He breathed deeply, hurt laced his voice.

Napapikit ako. Like. Well, fuck you, Winston, but I love you!

I didn't know I could fall for him. Seeing him everyday without even talking. Spending occasional dates with him without even asking for more. Why? Why did I fall when we barely interact? Why did my heart fell for this kind of man?

Was it that time? Curse that day.

-----

Palaging pumupunta si Lyra sa bahay since it's semestral break. Palagi ring nakabusangot ang mukha ko since she's always around.

Sa araw-araw na nandito si Lyra ay parang unti-unti kong nakikilala ang mapagmahal na Winston.

I saw how caring he is when it comes to his girl.  Like all those sweet little gestures didn't escaped my eyes when I'm looking from a distance.

I saw how happy he is whenever Lyra is around. Like all those little smiles and how his eyes light up when he is looking at her while I'm looking at him from a distance.

I saw how in love he is. Like all his attention is only for Lyra. His eyes set on her. His hands always guiding and holding her.

That made me question all of the time we spent together. Was it one-sided? Ako lang ba yung nakaramdam ng lahat ng pinaparamdam niya? Or did I just misread his gestures?

Buong araw akong nagkulong sa kwarto ko kakaisip kung magaling lang ba umakting si Winston o sadyang dakila siyang paasa.

Tsaka, nandun silang dalawa sa sala noh, ayaw ko lang masira pa lalo ang mood ko.

Malandi ba ako? Bakit ang dali kong na fall sa kanya? Bakit?

Assuming ba ako? But I'm sure na may nararamdam din siya. Na may pinapahiwatig siya.

Night came, napagdesisyunan kong bumaba at libutin ang village nila. Nagsuot ako ng hoodie upang hindi ginawin.

Habang naglalakad sa lilim ng mga ilaw ng poste ay biglang sumagi sa isip ko ang imahe nila Winston at Lyra na magkasama. Napasimangot ako.

Ahead is a play park, I jog to go there. Umupo ako sa swing at tumingala sa langit.

Walang mga bituin, tanging itim lang ang makikita na tila ba ay tinakluban ang langit ng telang napakaitim.

I heard a muffled voice in the background that gave chills down to my spine. I halted swinging and turn at my back. Wala akong nakita doon kundi dalawang see-saw at monkey bar. May mga poste na nakapaligid kaya hindi masyadong madilim. Napabuntog hininga ako nang maisip na guni-guni ko lang iyon.

I shrug my shoulders and gaze at the starless and moonless sky. Why does the sky has to match up my mood right now? Dark.

Tumayo na ako at naglakad pabalik nang may biglang tumama sa akin dahilan upang mapaatras ako. Fuck. Ano yon?