The Professor

Twenty-two

Everyone keeps telling me that it was all wrong, including my instinct. Could that be the real reason as to why I actually ended my relationship with Dean? So what if I'm not sure on how I feel about him yet? I think what we had was real.

Maybe it wasn't. Maybe I'm right about all of this. I could not love Dean afterall. Is there something that is pulling me away from him? Is it something I did? Was I ever actually into him to begin with?

All these questions, but I still can't seem to find the answers. Sure, Dean and I had fun, what we had was great, but how come I couldn't feel anything? He told me that he loves me and I just froze. I actually had to think if I do love him or not. Could it be a good sign that I'm not sure? Or is a bad sign? What do these signals mean?

The real answer I need to know is how Dean is holding up. He removed me from his class. I think I really hurt him.

"Shouldn't you be with your parents?" Blake's face appears above mine.

I lay under my favorite tree with my legs up against the bark. Blake hovers over me with his hands laced behind his back.

I close my eyes with a sigh. "I should. . .but I don't want to see them right now. Too much is going on." I pout. "Plus my mom discovered lingerie while doing my laundry, so things are pretty awkward now."

He chuckles as he drops down and crosses his legs. His head still hovers over mine to see me.

"What's wrong? I thought you told Dean you loved him?" His expression becomes cold.

I know that he still doesn't believe that Dean and I should be together. However, at least he's trying to be supportive.

"I almost did. . .until he blew up on me." I huff. "I just can't take it anymore. All we do is argue. We argue more than we actually talk." I shake my head.

He watches my expression for a moment before laying down beside me with his body in the different direction from mine so our heads are next to each other. He turns his head so our eyes meet. "It's good that you did." The late sun light glows on his skin.

I frown. "Really, Blake?" I huff. "I know that dating him was risky, but don't make me feel I committed murder." My head turns back at the leaves above me. I love the way the breeze brushes against them to make that water-like sound.

"I'm not trying to judge," Blake presses his eyebrows together. "I just think that leaving him was the best thing for both of you to do."

I suck in my lips, my tongue explores them on the inside. "I hurt him." I admit softly. "He removed me from his class."

He sits up with a frown. "He did?" He huffs. "What an ass."

I sit up with him while folding my legs on top of each other. "He's not the one to blame here. I was the one who hurt him." I snap.

He crosses his arms with his fists clenched. "Which is why you shouldn't have been in the relationship to begin with."

My lips fall apart, my eyes gazing directly into his with my jaw clenched. I can feel my face heat up. "You're an ass." I mutter as I stand up. I then march away from him towards the dorm building.

"Rosie." He calls. I can hear him jog after me.

I stop and turn to face him. "You can't keep blaming me for all that has happened. I don't regret getting with Dean. Now I just feel awful for dumping him like that when Thanksgiving is tomorrow!" My palms rub my face until they slide off. "He and I had our rough times, but he never wanted this. He really did love me and I just stabbed his heart. Can you for once be a little sympathetic?" My tone has become calm and serious. I watch him for his response.