Melrose • Dolan Twins

課 052

"I was a liar and a thief
Had opinions and beliefs
But I'm off that now
I was a lover and a friend
Never worry about the ends
But im off that shit right now

Take all my money off the ATM
And start a little bon fire"
- Sometimes I want 2 die, Blackbear

××××

Ethan turned around as his face softened once he saw tears streaming down my face.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me into him, letting me bury my head into my chest to cry.

He stroked my head, slowly and repeatedly, holding me tight in his arms.

He shushed my cries and pulled away from the hug, cupping my face and looking deeply into my eyes.

"We'll find him" He mumbled and wiped the tears with his thumbs.

I sobbed and wrapped my arms around him again, crying on his shoulder now.

I felt the cold again, and was reminded how lonely I felt.

That night I cried and cried, until there was nothing left to cry.

I did not sleep.

And at early morning, my eyes began to feel heavy, tired.

At least, I didn't scream or yell. I kept all the pain inside. That way, Ethan was able to get some rest for once.

I was tired of feeling so vulnerable all the time. So tired of being in pain, of the wounds.

With a cigarette in between my lips, I dragged my feet across the room and grabbed my wallet, that still had some cash in it. I walked down the stairs and opened the back door, leading me to the backyard.

I stared at the beautiful backyard and felt the cold breeze brush my cheeks. At the grey sky that had also stopped crying, and the faded green that surrounded the house.

I rubbed my arms to somewhat reduce the coldness and took a puff of my burning cigarette.

I let all my thoughts get carried away by the wind, and once they did, I grabbed the cash out of the wallet and walked over to the fire pit, dropping it on top.

I burnt the cash with the end of my cigarette, creating a small fire. I watched it turn into ashes as I observed the smoke vanish into thin air.

It felt good to let go. But it still hurt. It still felt empty somehow. A little sad.

But it felt good.