Godless Girl

Chapter 6

Aurora's POV

As quickly as her lips came crashing into mine, they are gone. I'm in such shock that my arms are still hanging in the air where my hands had been on her hips. After a few moments, I blink and look around quickly. Hope is sitting inside the tent and her music continues to play out of the speaker by the fire.

"Hope? Are you okay?" I call out to her while walking to the tent. "I'm not sure what just hap-" Suddenly she turns around quickly and I see she's crying. "Forget it happened. I don't want to talk about it. I just got caught in the moment." and she turns her back on me again. "Oh," I reach out to rest my hand on her shoulder and she slaps my hand away. "Don't touch me, you lesbian! You're foul and I'm not like you! It was a mistake!" she's screaming at me with eyes as red as the fire embers and her body trembles.

I back out of the tent and feel hot tears spill onto my cheeks. Foul? Am I foul to her? I sit on a log and pull my knees to my chest, burying my head between them. She kissed me. Hope, the perfect Catholic girl kissed me. And then she called me foul. A mistake. But I should be used to this sort of thing, I get called names every day of my life and get pushed around for my sexuality. Why did this hurt so much more?

I stare blankly into the fire until it slowly begins to burn out. Behind me I hear someone clear their throat. "You should probably come inside the tent. You'll freeze outside on that log." Hope's voice sounded strained and quiet. I ignore it and continue to stare at the blackening firewood. "Aurora, you-" "Why don't you go back inside the tent and shut up?" I hiss at her. "You won't care if I freeze, it'll be one less thing you have to deal with. I'd rather sit on this damn log and freeze all night than next to you. I'll just make the bed foul anyways, right?"

For a few moments there is nothing but the sound of small popping inside the dying fire. "Fine then. I suppose you're right." A blanket and pillow hits me in the back and I hear Hope quickly zip the entrance to the tent. I turn and pick the blanket up and spread it out on the ground, then lay down and wrap myself up in it with the pillow under my head. I begin quietly sobbing and wonder why she's suddenly so cruel.

"Get up." My eyes open to slits and I see a pale, but dark blue sky above me. "Get up! It's almost breakfast time!" Hope nudges me with her foot and I feel a wave of anger wash over me. I stand up quickly and put my nose inches from hers. "Thanks! So glad you care that someone as foul as I eats breakfast!" I yell in her face. At first her face looks shocked with eyes and mouth wide open, but she quickly clenches her jaw and furrows her eyebrows.

Hope turns away and stomps away onto the path to breakfast. I sigh and get into the tent to change my dirty clothes. I grab Hope's pillow to move it out of the way and I notice it feels damp. When I put it back down, I see two large circles of wetness in the center of it, as if she'd been crying. She must've been so upset with herself for kissing me that she cried herself to sleep. Great.

At breakfast I sit at our usual bench, but Hope isn't there. I glance around and spot her with her friends at a very crowded table. She's laughing with them when her eyes meet mine and her smile disappears into a scowl. A few of her friends turn and see me staring and they all look at me with disgust. I see Hope's lips move while staring at me and suddenly the whole table erupts into laughter, most of them looking at me in turns. I quickly turn around and stare at my plate of soggy toast and dry eggs.

What did she say to them? Why are they laughing at me? My heart begins to race and I decide to leave before I start crying again. After I stand and begin walking, I very quickly realize that the only trash can is next to the table with Hope and her sneering friends and I feel panic rise inside me, but I'm already halfway there and I have no choice. When I get close to the table, they all stop talking and stare at me. All of a sudden my tray is flying through the air and my face quickly meets the ground.

"Oops, sorry!" a red haired girl laughs at me and I see her foot stuck out. She tripped me. Unfortunately, my tray landed on me and eggs cover my clothing. "Oh wait, no I'm not! Filthy lesbian deserved it!" the girl begins giggling again and the rest of the table joins her in a chorus of mockery. I stand up and see Hope staring at her drink, avoiding eye contact. Then I feel my eyes well up and I sprint to the path towards our tent. I feel humiliated and hurt and angry all at once, but I'm not sure what to feel the most.

Why were they being so awful all of a sudden? They usually would call me the occasional name or tell me I would rot in hell, but most of the time they just ignored me. I fall to my knees on the trail and sob for a long while. Just when I thought I'd made a friend out of this shit hole, life did a 180 and I was the outcast again.

Eventually it feels as if my tear ducts had been drained completely and I sluggishly trudge to the tent where I fall onto the bed. My heart hurts and I feel emotionally exhausted. I curl up underneath my blanket and cry silently as I fall asleep.

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Sorry for taking so long to update! I kind of forgot wattpad existed, but I'll try to update more often. I have some ideas for the direction of this story that should be interesting :) Thank you all for reading, voting, and adding to your reading lists!