courage [yoonkook]

a

"Have you been eating?" Jungkook asked as Yoongi pulled a plastic chair up to the bed.

"Yeah. How about you? Is hospital food any good?"

"Blech," he said, making a face. "It's all mush."

Yoongi smiled fondly. "I'm sorry I didn't visit."

"That's alright. I didn't expect you to."

"I should've though. You saved my life."

Jungkook laughed. "And you saved mine. we've been even for quite a while."

Yoongi's face formed a small frown. "I guess."

"Hyung, I'm getting out today. It's alright. I'm okay now."

Yoongi nodded, biting his lip a little. Then he drew a small chocolate bar from his pocket, broke it and gave one half to Jungkook. They sat in the quietness of the infirmary, eating quietly, the drone of the ceiling fan masking their thoughts.

Jungkook laughed. "It's weird, y'know? How we met each other again."

"Well," Yoongi replied, blushing slightly. "Jin told me that if someone does something pivotal in your life, fate will bring you together again."

Jungkook took another bite of the chocolate. "Sounds reasonable."

"It does?"

"Yeah... why not?"

-

Yoongi was used to sneaking out of the school. The windows were never locked so he could easily pry it open and slip into the back garden. From there he could walk practically anywhere; everything was within arm's reach.

But he wasn't there to wander around; he had a mission, a quest. He headed straight for the convenience store across the school, digging change from his pocket. It was the most friendly place apart from the common room in that area because the employees knew all the students on a parent-name basis. They were like the weird aunts and uncles that you always admired when you were younger for having tattoos and piercings. They also didn't give a crap if you smoked in front of their store so long as you were respectful.

The store was heated and empty, the only worker sitting behind the cashier, reading a book and music in the background. Yoongi went straight to the front of the store, picking a bright pink packet from a shelf then clearing his throat to get the workers attention.

"Yoongi! More candy?"

He nodded childishly as he handed over the sweet packet and the money. "It's been... well, a day."

"I got you. Just lay your head down a bit, okay?"

Yoongi nodded again and took his candy, leaving the store a little happier. Just lay his head down, get some sleep, not a worry in his head. He was simply upset. He didn't know how to blame himself anymore. To him, it had always been easier to blame himself for everything bad that happened in his life. It was less burden on others and he truly believed he was strong enough to take the blame.

Now he wasn't so sure.

He was crumbling under pressure, linking things became harder and all he wanted in that moment was freedom. The freedom to say that he had been through a traumatic experience, that he wasn't to blame and that he came out alive.

He sighed, his warm breath forming a visible vapour in the cold air.

"How long were you looking for me?"

Yoongi jumped, turning on his heel to face the person who spoke. "Jungkook. You scared me."

"Sorry."

"How'd you get here?"

"I snuck out after they let me go," he said honestly, walking closer. "You didn't answer my question, though."

Yoongi sat down on a nearby bench in the park and Jungkook followed after. "Honestly? Ever since the accident happened. I was so lost in the world. My parents were gone and my brother was fresh out of college. I needed a sort of motive to keep me going. If I- well, it's a bit weird, if I had ended it all... then I wouldn't be able to thank the guy who saved me. And it would be a big 'fuck you' as well, you going through the effort of pulling me out of a blazing car only to find out I'd taken my own life right after. I realised that it just wouldn't help. Not me, not anyone."

Jungkook was at a loss for words. He didn't know how to say what he wanted to. "I'm sorry."

Yoongi shook his head. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I'm sorry I couldn't save your parents-"

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Jungkook," he repeated, firmer this time.

Jungkook shook his head. "I know how hopeless you can feel without your parents. I could've stopped you from going through the same thing but-"

"But nothing. You did what you could."

Jungkook bit his lip, letting a silence grow. "Is that why you don't believe in fate? Because you don't believe the world was cruel enough to take them away?"

Yoongi smiled a bit. "I guess that's it. Even though they were gone, I still had a little faith."

"Why?"

"My mother always told me to look out for myself. There might come a time where I would be all alone and no one could take care of me. I'd have to be completely alone. I'm glad that never happened. I had my brother, Jin-hyung and well, that's it."

"You have me too now," Jungkook said, smiling softly.

"You have me as well."

Yoongi laid his head on Jungkook's shoulder, breathing slowly. "I, um, never really knew how I'd react if I found you. I didn't know how I'd-" he paused, remembering a certain conversation he had with Jin, blushing then continued "-repay you."

After a meaningless silence, Jin asked, "What will you do when you meet him?"

"I don't know. Probably kiss him if he's gay."

Jungkook leaned into Yoongi. "You don't have to do that."

Yoongi contemplated, but not for very long. He brought Jungkook's weirdly beautiful hands into his, placing his fingers over his wrist, feeling his pulse. Jungkook didn't say a word. Yoongi's hand shook as he reached for Jungkook's cheek, looking him in the eye as he did so. His heart skipped a beat and he felt the silliest feeling in his stomach, staring at Jungkook.

He felt incredibly serene as his lips met Jungkook's in a mess of emotions and tentativeness as if he stepped into a world he'd never seen before. He was cautious but curious. It was so new and scary, beautiful and terrifying.

He pulled back, shocked at how he'd just done that. "Shit- I'm so sorry-"

Yoongi was cut off sharply by a timid kiss, Jungkook threading his fingers through his hair and Yoongi relaxed immediately, kissing back with equal force. It was only until a bell sounded from somewhere within the school that two sprung apart and ran towards the school, hand in hand, praying that they wouldn't get caught.