Being Christian

Chapter Four - Ana

In all the time I've been a therapist, I have never run away from a patient. Not once. Everything was such a blur. I don't even know how I pass by all those people, and be at to my car, let alone drive to my mentors hours on the other side of town. What is wrong with me? Why was this patient affecting me so deeply? He was certainly good looking but he was a broken man. I was never one to want to be with a man to fix him but why is there a deep need too? I've only just met him.

As I sit out in front an old maroon and white Victorian, I can't help but wonder why? Why was this happening? Why me? In all the years have been a therapist this never has never happened.

With a sigh, I cut the engine. I look up the old Victorian with its two front porches on either side of the house and the stained glass windows, and wonder if my mentor was home. John Flynn. I guess I will find out as I open the Audi door and stepped out.

I head up the the house, up the steps of the old porch, and to the door. Just as I was about to push the doorbell, John opened the door in a rush to get outside, nearly tripping over me, and almost knocking us both down the steps.

"Ana..." John was surprised to see me. He was dressed casually in jeans and a teeshirt. "I was just about to go pick up my kids at school." He looked down at his watch. "And I'm late." He shut the door behind him and window in the door rattled. I could see my reflection in the glass and looked as confused as I felt. It marred in my eyes most deeply.

John finally looked at me and he signed. "Hold on." He pulled out his phone, sent a quick text to someone, and then motioned for me to come in.

I followed him into the house. I'd only been here once. It definitely had a woman's touch with the soft pinks on the walls and flower patterns in the furniture. He walked into the parlor and I could see myself even clearer up on the mantel mirror. I was dazed and confused. My hair was in knots. I reached up to run my hand through my hair. It was no use. With a sigh, I let my hand fall to the my side.

"Come in." John gestured to the sofa and he sat down in the big plush tan chair. "Tell me, what is it? Is it Christian?" He looked equally concerned.

I took deep breath and let it out, saying "Yes."

"What is it?"

"Something happened." I know I was being cryptic but I didn't know how else to say it.

"I guess you're going to make me guess." John's phone buzzed and he glanced down at it. He sent a quick text to whomever it was. "Now, I'm guessing that you connected with Christian a little too deeply when you had your session with him."

"Yes."

"Good."

WHAT?

"Good?" I was confused. I tilted my head trying to figure my mentor out.

"The traditional therapy I was using wasn't helping Christian. He was fighting it. I even tried of the "unconventional" with him and he fought me on it as well."

"I don't understand."

"I know this is underhanded and very unconventional and probably against the rules, but Christian needed to have a reason to want to live. The only reason I can see is love."

"Love?" I know I sounded stupid but I wasn't grasping it.

"Yes love of a good woman. I knew once you two connected, things would happen naturally. I just didn't expect it to happen day one." John gave me a small smile.

"You used me!" I stood up once all the pieces fit together. "And you used Christian. How could you."

"It was going to happen anyway." John stood up and held his arm out to me. "I want to show you something.

I didn't take his hand, I stared at it for a moment like it had another hand growing out of it.

"You want to know or not." John held his hand out to me again. "This is apart of your therapy too."

Without hesitation, I slide my hand into his. I had to know why I was feeling something for Christian so soon.

"Now, lets you and I go see your future." He closed his warm hand around mineand waved the other in front of us. A swirling vortex opened out of thin air. It ripped before us. The air moved all around us, whipping my ratty hair around my face. Things were flying over us and around us as we stepped into the vortex.

I quickly glanced back around to see the vortex slowly closely until it was gone. We were  a grey room. It was so big and vast. It didn't seem to have an ending or beginning no matter which way I look. It was all grey.

Jerking his thumb over his shoulder, he said "Back that way is your past," then he pointed straight ahead. "That is your future, but there are many possible futures because nothing is exactly set in stone." John glanced to his left. "At anytime you decide you want to leave, you go left. That will take you out of here."

Looking around John, I saw a white door with an exit sign above it blinking red. It was tempting to just walk out and never look back, but there was something pulling me, guiding me to my destination. I had to see where it went. Or at least one possible way. Do I go? Do I really want to know? Wanting to know and needed to know are two different things.

"It is up to you how you want to proceed."

I did want to know the future, but at the same time, I didn't. I could feel Christian and I were that deeply connected. That was it. I need and want to know. Pick a door!

Slowly, I let go of John's hand, and I put on foot in front of the other, and walked down the hallway. There were doors on either side. Some old, some new, some had paint chipped off. Some even were different shapes and sizes. I kept walking until a white door with three windows lay atop with black door knocker. The black handle long and curved stood out to me. The whole thing said quaint but spoke to me in more ways than one. It told me this was the door. It was pulling me.

I walked over to the door, raised my hand, and placed it on the long handle, and my thumb on the lever. I pushed down and in. The door stuck a bit but I leaned against it tripped inside and landed on a wood grain floor. Damn klutz!

"Christ, Ana..." I looked up to see Christian coming down the steps to help me. He was dressed in jeans and a teeshirt. Comfy. "Are you okay, baby?" He stopped to scoop me up.

I was just too mesmerized to even speak to him. I could feel the love radiating off him and his eyes boring into mine. The expressive eyes told me how much he loved me. How much he desire me. How happy or sad he was.

"Ana...are you okay?" I couldn't help by stare at his beautiful blue eyes. I was suddenly so lost on them.