Being Christian

Chapter Six - Flynn

My nerves were so beyond frayed. Ana had been missing and it was all my fault. I broke the rules trying to help them. I should have never crossed that line, not like that. I should know better. I put Christian in her path and changed their entire destiny. They were never supposed to meet. They were destined to be alone.

As I paced back and forth in front of our grand fireplace, I tried to concentrate on the cushiony soft rug under my feet when I made each pass. My wife would tell me to stop soon; I would put a hole in the rug, but I couldn't make myself stop.

The door bell rang loud and shrill for my liking but I did not stop pacing. I could see my wife walk to the door. She had her hair pulled back in a pony tail and she was simply dressed in jeans and a tee shirt. She'd never looked so pretty. It was Christian. I heard their conversation; the tones in their voices worrying.

"Honey..." My wife called to me from the foyer. "Christian is here."

The smooth, sweet sound of my wife's voice stalled my pacing, and I finally looked at Christian, really looked in his eyes. They were lost and sad, maybe a little frenzied too. Deep marks frayed the edges of his eyes. It was like ten years had been added to his age. I know it had been added to mine.

"Honey..." my wife crossed to me and placed her hand gently into mine. "John, it will be okay. Just work with Christian and you will find Ana." Her voice still soothing, could bring me out of my wariness.

My wife was the best. She knew the pitfalls of doing what I do. It was how I met her. She was my therapist.

"You two boys work together. If you need anything, I'll just be upstairs." She leaned closer to me and on her tippy toes, placed her warm, wet lips to my dry one. I felt all her warmth and love radiating through that kiss.

All I could do was return my love to her in the kiss. She reluctantly pulled away and left the room. For a moment, Christian and I just stared at one another, unable to move or even to speak, but I knew I had to be the one to start.

"Please sit down," I guested with my hand to either the couch or to the sofa. We were going to be there for awhile.

I sat down on the sofa, while he sat down on the cream colored chair. It was the most comfortable chair, but also as far away as he could be from me. Understandable. I screwed up his life.

"Start talking," Christian said in a quiet, but menacing way.

It definitely sent a shiver up and down my spin. "You and I Ana have been my patients for awhile. Ana had been progressing nicely and even on her way to becoming a therapist like I am, but something was holding her back. I think she was just scared to move on and do her own thing. I knew you were ready to walk away even before you did, because let's face it, when shit hits the fan, you run. You've always done things. Even as a child you ran. Even when you started your relationship with Elena."

That hit a nerve. The look in his eyes was told me if I proceeded, I was gonna like the outcome, well neither did he. Christian was too fixated on Elena, but it was still running. He wasn't facing his fears, he was pushing them way down deep until he was numb to everything. All his relationships proved that. He thought he could get buy in his no strings attached relationships but he found them Hollow. He needed more, he wanted more.

"Be pissed at me, but your the one that has to deal with it. Not me."

"You brought Ana to me so I would focus on something other than myself?"

Christian was smart.

"Yes."

"Did she know this?"

I don't know how, but he was keeping it together, but only by a thread.

"No. She knew you needed her help and that the traditional therapy wasn't working. She never expected to connect with you on a deeper level, but I knew you two would."

"How?"

"I dabbled a little on sleep therapy."

Christian narrowed his eyes trying to understand.

"You two have meet a few times before in your dreams and you connected there."

Many emotions clouded his face until he settled on shock. The realization of what I did must have been hit him hard.

"What the hell, doc."

"You two were never supposed to meet. I just gave you the push. You did all the rest."

"She doesn't know that, does she?" The worry evident in his voice. "What happened to her?"

"No, I never told her that. I did allow her to see the possible futures with you and I'd never heard from her."

All this information no doubt was overloading Christian, but he seemed to be handling it well. Maybe he was just too pissed at me and was keeping himself collected and then kill me later.

"Did you look for her?"

"Yes. I went to the possible future #22114 and I didn't see her anywhere."

"Couldn't she come back on her own?

"No it'd have to play out or she calls me."

The worry was very evident on his face and his body language. Christian had already become a different person since she came into his life. He was beginning to feel the love that had been buttoned up neatly with a big red bow. I know I had done the right thing but had gone and done it the way way.

"Put me in," a determined Christian stood up and removed his coat. It feel to the floor. "I'll fine her."

"You need to remember that the Ana's there are not Ana. They're a possible future Ana. She may not know about the therapy or that she was your therapist. She may even have completely different memories than you do."

"I'm willing to risk that, doc. I got to find her. I can't loose her. I won't. She's made me want to make a change in my life."

"All right." I nodded, happy for him. I stood up up and waved my hand out in front of me. A large vortex swirling opened sucking things on. Christian's tie flapping around, "Go. Start at 22114. That is where she last was at."

With a quick nod, Christian jumped into the vortex, no more more questions asked. I collapsed onto the sofa wishing him nothing much luck, leaned my head back, sighing. I didn't know it was relief washing through me or something else.

Before I could do anything else, I was suddenly summoned away, forcefully taken in a folly of bright white light. I was dumped in an all white room a moment later. There was not a stitch of furniture no where there any people around, but someone was watching me. I could feel it. I knew, without a shadow I'd doubt, what was going to happen to me.

Whatever it was, I knew this was going have something to do with my punishment.