Morgenstern

Final Choices

Time just slips through my fingers. Before I even come close to ready it's time to leave. While Clary traces the portal rune onto the door, Jace starts grabbing all of the luggage looking like a fucking pack mule. But even that doesn't make me smile right now. My left hand has gone numb from clenching it in a fist for the past day and a half.

The feeling suddenly fades back when Clary grabs my hand and starts ushering me towards the portal. She grabs me in a quick hug and leaps through. Jace then looks over at me and nods, almost as if he understands before he jumps through as well. I stand there for a moment, just to think, because I know there will be no time on the other side. Then I jump.

.

I land on the pavement of whatever road Clary decided would be the best to talk to the Clave from. I quickly check to make sure that Jace and her arrived safely inside the "bubble" before looking around. Right up front is Clar- my mom. Our mom. Next to her is that werewolf and the parabati of Jace. I also see the vampire friend and his girlfriend along with the two werewolves. Behind them is the rest of the Clave dressed in battle gear.

Luckily, we can't hear anything going on, but there should be almost an amplifier coming from the shield bubble to them. I keep looking around the crowd trying to work up the nerve to say something, when my eyes meet Jocelyn. Her heart almost seems to break as I see the shock on her face that Clary is still alive. With tears running down her eyes I decide that I will do this for her and for Clary.

"Uh-hi. You all may know me as Jonathan. A few of you know me as Sebastian. Yet over the past few months, I've felt like neither. You may all want to kill Jonathan or Sebastian, but I really hope you don't want to kill me." I see the confusion and anger on the faces of the crowd and decide to keep talking because Raziel knows how long this will stay up.

"I've done some bad things. I mean some really bad things. Half of them were when I claimed to not know any better. How are you supposed to doubt who raised you if you never knew any different. I then learned different. And I tried to burn down the world and everyone inside it. Now I've found something worth saving the world for, my family that I've basically forced to be around me."

"Jace who I literally attached to me so that he would like me, and Clary who came for Jace. Right now I would like to give them both the chance to be freed of me. Starting with Jace." I carefully switch the small dagger in my left hand to my right.

"Lilith gave this to me in case anything ever went wrong with the enchantment. This is another blade of the angels made long ago by Gabriel. This blade will sever the bond between Jace and I." I pull my shirt off, revealing the ugly rune that covers my heart. I lift the blade to the rune and quickly gash through it.

I hear Jace scream beside me, but my own agonizing screams cover his. It really does feel as if my own soul has been cut in half and thrown out of my body. I feel Clary run up to me and feel a small prick as she draws an iratze on my back then quickly rushes over to Jace. The pain is still highly evident but I clench my teeth and stand up.

"Jace is no longer bound to my former self. Clary is free to return when this barrier comes down. I told my sister that I would be choosing sides today, but I don't think that's enough. Even if I were to drink from the mortal cup, it would show that I don't want to work to show I've changed. Which is why I will be turning both cups over to you, so that you may change back the Shadowhunter I've turned. Along with the cups I am turning myself in"

"This way I may be able to pay for what I've done even if it means death. Magnus please lower the shield." I throw all of my weapons to the side and kneel with both my legs on the ground. I raise my hands over my head and lay down. I can tell the shield is gone when the roar of the crowd is suddenly audible.

I feel steles poking into my back as the Shadowhunters finally reach me. "All I ask is that Clary and Jace are safe. Please make sure they're safe." I whisper as I'm quickly marked with sleep runes.