Lie Again

Talk to Me

This video (by smedegaard3105 on YouTube) is a little ahead of this story, since it has season ten and fourteen clips in here (whereas Lie Again takes place during season nine), but the song is definitely applicable here. I've loved this song since I first saw this video, and I needed you guys to see it too. So that's why I pasted this in instead of just a lyric video. Give it a watch!!!

*****

It was a thousand times worse than he had ever imagined it would be.

He fully expected her to be upset about his confession, but he never thought she'd be mad at him for saving her life.

What was all that nonsense about the greater good?

When did she decide that her life wasn't worth as much as anyone else's?

Tony rubbed his face. He had absolutely no clue how to fix this mess.

She couldn't even look at him. How was he going to fix it if she wouldn't look at him?

He stared out the window but didn't really see anything beyond the glass.

He turned as soon as he heard footsteps on the stairs.

Maybe she was already willing to talk?

But her face was tight as she stalked past him. He wasn't used to being on the receiving end of Ziva's wrath. Not to this extent.

He sighed and dropped into a chair.

She stormed past him again, and he grabbed her wrist without thinking. She pulled away from him, not even breaking a step.

He followed her back up to her room, where he stood in the doorway staring at her. He was going to make her talk to him.

At least that was the plan.

But three hours later, he was thinking that he should've known better than to even try. Ziva was Mossad. She wasn't going to talk if she didn't want to.

"Ziva, talk to me," he pleaded.

She didn't even raise her eyes from the book she was reading.

"Ziva, please. What do you want me to say? Is there anything I can say or do to make you forgive me?" What was he saying? He did nothing wrong. "Look. I made the call. Maybe you would've made a different call, but I'm not you. And you aren't me. If our roles had been reversed, do you mean to tell me you would've let them kill me so you could catch the bad guy?" He sat down next to her, and she drew away. "I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that you would've let me die. If you can do that, I'll leave you alone. I'll go back to DC. Whatever you want. But you have to tell me you'd rather I was dead."

She finally looked up at him, and he was startled by her tears. She bit her lower lip, and he honestly thought that maybe she would give in. Maybe she'd tell him she would've made the same call.

"I would have done what was best," she whispered.

He felt cold.

She would've let him die.

It was like a bullet to the heart.

"Okay," he said. "Okay." He stood up. "I'll go get my suitcase."

She didn't even try to stop him from leaving.

***

Her chest was burning as she watched him walk out of her life.

Why did she say that?

She knew she would've done everything in her power to save him.

So why didn't she just say it?

Why didn't she just tell him the truth?

How could she tell him the truth when she couldn't even tell herself the truth?

Tears sprung from her eyes, and she covered her face with her hands. On second thought, she had to clamp a hand over her mouth to keep the sobs from pouring out.

She rocked back and forth, trying to get the pain in her chest to ease up. It wouldn't budge.

It was like Tony cut out a piece of her heart to take with him.

But if she thought about it, it wasn't like she put up much of a fight. She was the one who started it. She didn't have to kiss him. She didn't have to crawl into his bed. She could've stopped him at any time, but she didn't.

She hated herself for it. He was her partner. Partners weren't supposed to get that personal. It made it harder to do their jobs. He made his call, but it was based on emotions, not on logic.

She wanted to smack herself for continuing to bash his decision. She would've done the same thing. She would have saved his freaking life, even at the cost of letting the bad guy get away.

She would have chosen him.

But she didn't. She let him go.

Ziva got up and went to the window. He was down on the street already, hailing a taxi.

Without thinking, she ran after him. "Tony!"

He didn't hear her. He tucked his suitcase into the taxi's trunk and slammed it shut. He walked around to the door.

"Tony!"

He turned around, doing a terrible job of hiding his emotions. Confusion, anger, heartbreak.

"Please stay," she said, reaching out to touch him. She could feel his racing pulse under her palm.

"Are we going or not?" the driver asked, craning his neck to look at them.

Tony glanced towards the taxi.

He was really going to do it. He was going to leave her.

"Tony..."

He took a step away from her, letting her hand fall. "Why should I?"

"Because you... I..." She swallowed. "I need you to stay. I... need you."

"Do you actually, or are you just saying what you think I want to hear?"

"I do. I need you. Please do not leave me."

He searched her gaze. She didn't know what she would do if he got in that taxi.

"Okay."

"Okay?" she whispered.

"I'll stay."

The driver sighed. "You still going to pay me?"

"Yeah, yeah," Tony said, tossing a handful of bills at the man. He grabbed his suitcase from the back and watched her as the taxi sped off to find its next passenger. "Now what?"

She shrugged.

*****

Awww. I love them.

Did you actually think I was going to tear them apart after they just fell together? Sounds like them, but I couldn't. Not when I promised Tiva.

But they still needed to have their relationship crisis.

Hm. I think I'll be wrapping this up soon. Maybe just take them back to DC and leave it open-ended for y'all.

If they tugged at your heartstrings (aka "chordae tendinae" for human anatomy buffs--- hahaha), please vote or drop me a comment!!!