Breaking the Bad Habits of Low Self-Esteem With God's Love

Anxiety

Anxiety is one of the main reasons why those who hate themselves are so tired, besides depression. Just about every moment of their lives is spent worrying. If there's traffic on the freeway going to work, they worry about getting fired for being late to work. If they're on a plane, they worry about the plane crashing. They won't stop going over every conversation they've had with people worrying they may have said something wrong to someone. They worry about what that look the barista gave them at Starbucks meant. They worry that they might get judged for presenting their idea at the meeting at work. Every second of every day is something to worry about. It's no wonder those with anxiety are tired. This is a huge "energy leak" as I have mentioned in the previous chapter that needs to be plugged.

One of my favorite teachings of Jesus is in Matthew 6:25-34. He says, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:25-34, NIV). Now Jesus isn't saying just lay around and everything will be handed to you. He's saying that God will take care of the things you can not. A lot of the things we worry about are things outside of our control. However, as Jesus said, we can't add a single hour to our life by worrying. In fact, worrying about things we can't control will do nothing for us except for waste our energy that could be used to take care of things we can control. The mantra I've come up with is do your best, and God will take care of the rest.

So the next time you find yourself worrying about something, ask yourself, "What am I afraid of right now? Is there anything I can do about this? Is what I'm fearing a 100% guaranteed fact?" If you can't do anything about what you are fearing, let it go to save your energy for other things. If you can do something about it, then do it! If what you are fearing is not a 100% guaranteed fact, then there is no use worrying about it. For example, it is not a 100% guaranteed fact that your boss is out to get you and is ready to fire you if he catches you making even the smallest mistake. When you begin to feel this way, just take a deep breath, and relax. Let go and let God sort things out the way he sees best. He knows better than we do. 

Now, if you're like me, you probably get panic attacks. I must say that out of all my symptoms of anxiety, panic attacks are the worst but also the most intriguing. It's the most physical manifestation of a usually invisible illness. When they hit, I feel shaky, I start to breathe heavier as if I were running a marathon. My mind keeps telling me that if I breathe harder, the pain in my chest will go away, but it never works. I become hyper vigilant. Sometimes, I'll even get light headed and dizzy. My worst panic attack happened when I was getting a TB test at my doctor's office and I began to have vertigo and I almost threw up. Ever since then, I get a panic attack every time I visit my doctor. After years of experiencing panic attacks, I've found some strange ways to help me get through them.

First, I don't resist them. Instead, I do the exact opposite. I've found that the more I try to resist the panic attacks, the more dysfunctional I get. So I actually embrace them. I explore the symptoms I'm feeling at the time. I allow myself to fully experience the chest pain, the dizziness, the heavy breathing, everything. I then acknowledge just how uncomfortable these feelings are. The wonderful thing of being so physically uncomfortable is that it's real. It's not just me getting in my own way, it's not just all in my head, it's a very real physical phenomenon that proves that it's not 'just me' but that I am indeed sick. I also do not tell myself to relax. I've found telling myself to relax only makes it worse. Instead, I tell myself "It's just a panic attack. It will go away. This is just a temporary visitor. You'll feel better soon." After that, I do my best to go about my business as best as I can. I've found it helps to listen to relaxing music and keep taking deep breaths while I patiently wait out the panic attack. Once it's done, it's also a good idea to eat something, get some water, and take some time to rest if you can.

I've learned the sad reality that when a panic attack comes to visit, you simply can't force it away. It will leave when it's good and ready, and I have come to terms with that. For me, the key to getting through panic attacks is patience; actively waiting for it to leave. They don't have to get in the way of your life, you just have to learn how to be patient with this annoying, unwelcome visitor.

Anxiety is a tool Satan uses against us because it is exhausting and distracting. As long as he can keep us wasting our energy focusing on things that don't matter or are outside of our control, he can continue to attack us when our guard is down due to anxiety (which is ironic because those with anxiety tend to be preoccupied with keeping a guard up from all dangers). We can't let him distract us with anxiety. Let the Lord come in and bring you peace.