He was beautiful. His face was the color of a brown wall, his freckles were so deeply freckle colored, and his voice was typical of most *potati, with a sound that reminded you distinctively of his own.
"..Y-yes?" You took a deep breath. He was beautiful. the most beautiful man you had ever seen.
"My name is Leonard, and you are the chosen one. I have chosen you." He said. When he talked, his mouth didn't move, but you knew it was him, because he was your soulmate. You bowed your head and knelt down on bended knee.
"What do you wish of me, oh great master? I will fight armies, and sail all 123456789 seas for you. I am under your command. Bestow upon me your quest, oh great one." You were willing to do anything for Leonard because you knew you would never leave him.
"Uhh," Leonard blinked. "I mean, you can if you want I guess, but if you could just move me over to that table there that would be great."
"OK." You picked him up gingerly and was just about to set him down when you heard voices in the hallway outside the door. It was Allan! Your terrifying gorilla boss!! With only a split second to think, you hid in a broom closet.
"Wow. This is so cliche," you mutter grumpily. Then you realise that Leonard is there with you and you perk up. "Wow Leonard I love you I'm so glad that you're with me!"
"AHHHHHH PUT ME DOWN!!!" He screamed and wiggle in your hand.
"No! We are Not In Love!" he screamed shrilly. "Leave me alone! I don't love you and i don't want to go home with you!!!"
"Oh." You frowned and tried to hold back tears. You were disappointed that he didn't love you, but it wouldn't do to show weakness to your one true love. you took a plastic ziploc baggie from your pocket and layed Leonard gently inside before sealing it and tucking it away. "No!" You narrowed your eyebrows, and stepped from the closet bravely. "You are my one true love, and I will have you!!!!!" You crashed through the restaurant window into the street far below and donned a full-body penguin suit stolen from the store nearby; and waddled your way home.
* The plural of 'potato'.
