hearts don't break around// klance

ten: road to ruin

Keith could hardly see the road. The black pavement blurred under the yellow light of the headlights. This sickness crept in the corner of Keith's stomach, the sickness at the thought that maybe he'd get in a crash. Of course he wasn't suicidal or anything, but he was rejected again for the thousandth time in his life. He had almost no hope left that anybody would ever bother put up with him.

He wouldn't care if love costed a penny or himself, he'd pay whatever he had to feel that warm feeling he got from Lance. He rubbed his eyes with his sweater sleeves and looked at the card sitting on his dashboard. Maybe he should call...

He picked up his phone, ugly sobbing as he typed the numbers into his phone. His chest felt like the backbone of a spoon as it caved in. The phone rung quietly until it was picked up on the last ring.

"Hello?" a woman said. Keith pulled the phone from his ear and took a big gulp of air.

"Hey, um, it's Keith. I was just calling to let you know I'm on my way up to New York." His voice sounded so weak and unconvincing. It was like dirt on display. How she didn't pick up he was crying was beyond belief.

"Oh, Keith? You don't have to rush your decision-"

"No!" He said. "No, I promise I'm not rushing it. I just... I'm calling just to tell you. You did nothing to push me." He rubbed his eye on his shoulder, the fabric damp from his tears.

"Are you sick? It's not good to drive when you're sick." Keith forced out a laugh. He was so fake. How was she so oblivious?

"It's fine, I'm sick a lot. I'm used to it." Whatever gets him by, right? When he hung up, he broke down again.

He was an idiot. In the end his finger got pointed back at him because the prick wasn't Lance, it was himself. It was him all along who was the idiot. Distancing himself would've ended up even better. Every touch, every smile, every flutter of the heart and rush of blood would live on forever. He couldn't believe he fell in love. Only fools fall in love.

Maybe he was just a fool. A useless fool. He rubbed his eyes but it did nothing. They were clustered with never ending tears. How could he let himself believe he was wanted after eighteen years of being left in last. Nothing will ever change. Once an orphan, always an orphan. And he couldn't see. He felt like he'd blacked out everything was so dark.

His heart twisted painfully and he cursed Lance for doing what he does best. He cursed Lance's name for being so irresistible and wonderful. Like a mousetrap, that's what Lance was. A small part of Keith wondered if maybe Lance was just kidding. Maybe Lance did want him back. It was just another fight right? Maybe not. Lance looked mad. He looked like he'd burn Keith to ashes if he ever laid his eyes on him again.

He was going to crash.

Lance cried for a long while until he was just too damn tired of crying. His whole body was shaking he felt so weak. He ran a hand through his sweaty hair. His mom was texting him but he just tossed his phone on the floor.

"Lance, what are you thinking about?" Hunk asked quietly. Pidge was knocked out in the backseat. It was kind of dumb to take her out so late. Lance sighed exhaustedly.

"Keith," he said simply. "Always Keith. I'm always thinking about Keith." Hunk smiled softly into the night and kept on. He was always so collected. Not the no-fun-never-freak-out level of collected, but he was always ready to offer a big hug even if nothing was wrong.

"You're singing the same sad love song Lance. How can you think about Keith all the time and not like him?" Lance rubbed his eyes tiredly. The corners were wet with tears waiting to fall like ripe apples.