Sadie Kane: Broken

The Fire

The party was... well, a party. Don't get me wrong I am completely grateful for my friends and family. Carter tries so hard to be a good example for me even though we are pretty much exact opposites. Though his actions may seem annoying it shows that he actually cares enough to even try. Zia is one of my closest friends who kind of gets what I'm going through. She has literally been trapped and I have felt trapped multiple times in my life. Jaz is too kind, I don't even deserve her friendship. In fact, she is everything I wish I could be. But, Jaz has currently been bringing me down big time. She didn't even mean to it just happened. She's absolutely flawless, and I'm the homeless-looking rude girl that needs to shut her mouth. The whole day passed and I found myself glancing over at Jaz and Walt together... talking and laughing. I stood there wishing that I could have something like that. Something that would make me be kind and friendly and beautiful.

Eventually everyone seemed to disappear off into their own little groups. Carter and Zia went off probably to make out somewhere. They have been making lovey eyes at each other the whole entire time so everyone was uncomfortable. I overheard a conversation between Jaz and Walt about going out to watch a movie. They were the only ones left at this point. When Jaz said that I could come as well if I wanted to, I knew that I didn't want to. I wanted to be alone, and honestly that was the best present I thought I could ever get. Now that I think about it though, that's a lie. I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to be held by somebody and talk to them about all that I was feeling but I guess I couldn't do that. These feelings I have for Anubis aren't supposed to exist, right? 'Look at yourself,' I thought bitterly as I stared at the dirt ground, 'All alone and vulnerable. Wallowing in your self pity. What is wrong with you?' I didn't think I could hurt myself by thinking but then I remembered things that Drew had said to me. How can I be a friendless loser and a reckless slut? Maybe I'm supposed to learn something from this. If I am then why does it hurt so bad and why am I still hurting after so long?

He appeared next to me, it seemed like it was out of nowhere. He could've been there for hours but I didn't even realize. His eyes were aimed directly at the fire. Flames dancing in his dark yet strangely delicate eyes. He was biting his lip as if he were trying not to say something. I couldn't read his expression so easily at this moment. Maybe he was nervous or possibly holding back pain. His dark hair was just as great as ever. I didn't realize I wanted him here so badly until he finally was. I could spend this whole night staring at him but that didn't seem like such a good idea. If Carter was here he would've already told me to get away from him. Carter never liked Anubis, since the beginning he thought he was the enemy. He also thinks that I should've just stayed with Walt. But, I never loved Walt. Did that mean I loved Anubis? At this point, that was far too much to process. "Sadie, you're staring a little bit." I hear his gentle voice say.

What?

Now, I realize that he was facing me at this point and his face was pretty close to mine so I guess I got completely distracted. I was never really the girl who fell for people easily. But, with Anubis it was so hard not to fall for him. He was perfect, just my type of guy but I couldn't have him. It was like some sort of twisted joke, having him inches apart from me looking completely gorgeous with his stupid perfect face. My face was burning, not from the fire but the internal rage called embarrassment. I felt myself instinctively inch back away from him so that I didn't make any dumb decisions. "What? No?" I finally answer throwing a fake confused expression on my face. I probably looked more offended than anything though.

"I know you're mad at me right now, but you've got to let me explain please." Anubis says looking over at me placing a hand above mine.

His touch, was a calming movement. I used to pay very close attention to whenever we came even close to touching, I cherished those moments. This time, I just couldn't. I stood up quickly anger suddenly taking over my entire being. "You know what? I really am mad. I'm completely pissed off that you're acting like this okay. Guess what, Anubis? This is not okay! It's my fault that you were sent off to that stupid war! Don't you think I need time to process that? I care about you. More than I should. More than I think you realize." I shouted as he stood up as well, I continued anyways, "Things have been so hard for me recently, which is another thing you'll never understand. I don't even want for you to understand just leave me al-"

He cut me off, but not by saying anything he had quickly moved his hands to the sides of my face. We stood there like this for a second, my heart pounding in my chest. Then he slowly started to move in and my mind had been completely numb the whole time. And suddenly I felt his warm lips gently placed upon mine. It was shy at first since we both didn't really know what was going on. Then as if some fire had been ignited in him he pulled me closer kissing me as if it were his last day on earth. Nothing could've possibly ruined that moment. That was our moment. Nothing else mattered then. He pulled away slowly dropping his hands and just staring at me again, as if I were supposed to say something. I never knew what to say.

"Why did you do that?" I heard myself ask in a quiet whisper that I rarely spoke in.

Anubis froze for a moment and I knew that he knew but he was too afraid to admit it. "Every day, in that war I thought about you, Sadie. After having so much time to think for myself I realized so many things. One of them being that, you are the only thing that's right in my broken world. And that no matter what I am going to be there for you now. You hear me?" His tone was serious and his eyes were full of emotions that I couldn't even name.

I heard him, but I didn't know how to respond. Then we were kissing again, under the moon and stars behind Brooklyn House. Nothing could possibly ruin this. I remember thinking that,  that night. I was wrong.