Make Me (Editing)

six (edited)

"Marcus I can explain," I spoke softly, certain that my expression was revealing more than my words ever could.

And by the look of the deadly glare that he was sending me, I knew that I had a lot of explaining to do.

"Go on then." he practically seethed. "Explain to me, Ally, why my own girlfriend would find the need to become so heavily involved in the only company in New York that I red-flagged so clearly. And explain to me, babe, why I had to find out the disturbing news from an unrelated third party."

His eyes were dark with anger, daring me to elucidate the situation. He knew as well as I did that that there was little I could do to justify myself. But I was still going to try.

"I wanted to tell you, Marcus. Believe me I did. But there was always something getting in the way. There was never a good time."

"Oh yeah cause it's not like we texted every day and called every other," sarcasm laced his every word. "Oh wait.. that's exactly what we did!"

"Look Mar, It wasn't my intention," I shook my head, "to work for him, or to hide it from you."

"Then what was your intention, Ally?" he asked almost mockingly. "To betray me? Hit me where it hurt most? Because you definitely achieved both of those."

"I'm sorry," was all I could say, so very softly, as my eyes found the floor. I couldn't look at him at this point without hating myself and the dishonest girlfriend that I had become.

"My God, Ally." He yelled, slamming his fist against the bathroom wall. "I just don't get it - why you'd feel the need to keep that from me, when all I've ever had was your best interests at heart."

"My best interests?" I met his eyes once again, knowing full well that I would live to regret what I was about to say. "Tell me, Marcus. Would you have preferred me to be sitting here right now with no job, no money, no motivation, having failed to make this new life for myself? Because that's exactly how I would've been if it weren't for the opportunity that your "red-flagged" company gave me."

"Anything would be better than working for Mr Gray," he shook his head, looking intensely in my direction. "You know I would have supported you, at least until you'd secured a proper job, but even longer if you had've wanted it."

"But that's just it," I shook my head slowly. "I never wanted that. I never wanted your help, or anyone's help for that matter. You should be happy that I'm trying to be independent."

"But at what cost, Ally?" He'd moved closer to me now, his voice more vulnerable. This was the moment where his anger became disappointment, which surprisingly hurt me more.

"It's a good job, Mar," I softened my voice just as he had. "It's in the perfect industry, has already given me great exposure, and pays really well."

"The job description isn't what bothers me, Al," he shook his head softly. "It's your boss, and his undisguised disrespect for women."

"This job isn't forever," I reasoned. "Mr Gray is not going to be my boss forever."

"I think you underestimate him."

I furrowed my brow, not quite sure what he was getting at.

"Do you not trust me?" I tentatively asked. "Is that what this is about?"

"It's not that I don't trust you, Ally," he shook his head with conviction. "It's the fact that I can't trust that sorry excuse for a man that you now work for. You don't understand."

"Damn straight I don't," I yelled. "Do you even know him? Have you ever actually talked to the guy? Or are you, along with half the world's population, basing your opinion of him on a schematic circulation of lies?"