casual - lashton

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requested by --moow

luke was sat on the cold, white tiles of his bathroom floor, his attention wandering to  anything that wasn't the terrifying stick in his hand. with his knees up to his chest, he sighed and glanced down at the timer counting down on his phone. 30 seconds.

"it's fine," he whispers to himself, "it's totally fine. it's gonna be negative, and i'll laugh because i was all worried over nothing. yeah, it'll be negative. it's fine. i'm definitely not . . pregnant, that's ridiculous. fuck, who am i kidding? i don't even believe what i'm saying."

by now, 5 seconds were left and luke was frantically trying to prepare himself for what he's about to see. he knows he's going to see two pink lines, and he knows that he's definitely going to cry. he takes a deep breath and squeezes his eyes shut because he's just so fucking scared, and he has no idea what the hell he's going to do if he actually is pregnant.

him and ashton weren't exactly the perfect couple. their relationship was super casual, or at least that's how they liked to refer to it, despite how deep each of them had feelings for one another. not to mention they were both incredibly young, with ashton being 24 and luke only 23. it wasn't exactly the ideal time in their lives to start a family.

after some hesitation, luke decided he really just had to know. he peered at the clear window on the stick, seeing 'pregnant' emblazoned in thin, black letters.

"fuck," luke said, leaning his head back against the wall in defeat as tears pooled in his eyes. he knew he was probably supposed to feel elated about this, and he hated that he didn't. instead, he was filled with regret, and he was sure he had never been so scared in his life.

"i can't be a dad," he cried, throwing the stick in the garbage and putting his head in his hands. luke was absolutely terrified and he had no idea what to do with himself. after about half an hour, his head was pounding from all the crying, so he pulled himself up off the floor and crawled straight to bed to cry some more. he contemplated whether or not he should tell ashton. he would probably be crushed to hear news like this. surely it would ruin his plans for his future, and he would want no part in raising a baby that wasn't supposed to even be born in the first place. luke didn't want to be the one to blame for such a heavy burden, and he sure as hell couldn't raise a baby by himself. after lots of thinking and crying, he decided that there was only one thing to do; he had to have an abortion. thinking about it stung him to no end, but he felt alone and hopeless, and that this was his only option. he thought that a child deserved a stable family and life, and if luke couldn't give that to his baby, he didn't see the point in having one.

soon enough, his tears wore him out and he fell asleep feeling like absolute shit. he never wanted this to happen, but he felt lost. he would call his doctor in the morning and schedule the procedure. ashton would never have to know.

- - -

when luke woke up the next morning, he immediately felt like crying all over again. his eyes were puffy and heavy from last night's events, and all he wanted to do was go back to sleep. he groaned and checked his phone, scrolling through his notifications to see 2 missed calls and a few texts from ashton. luke's heart pounded in his chest as he read the man's message.

morning, i'm picking you up at 10 and we're going to get some breakfast. if you're not awake, i'll drag you out of your damn bed myself. see you soon (-; x

luke cursed, seeing that it was currently 9:45 and he had literally just woken up. luke dragged himself out of bed and went straight to the bathroom to shower. against his better judgement, he took a short, 5 minute shower instead of his usual 30 minute ones, and quickly got dressed. he put on a hoodie and jeans because frankly he was feeling way too exhausted to put any more effort into his outfit and he was rapidly running out of time. while he was drying his hair in the bathroom, he noticed ashton lean against the doorframe.

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