The Final Curtain (Kuroshitsuji)

Chapter Seven: Nocturne

Self-reflection.

Mei Rin never underwent the process of self-reflection unless the situation was a dire one. She had briefly reflected on who she was becoming the first time she assassinated someone, but by the time Sebastian had appeared to recruit her she was almost immune to the flickers of integrity in her soul. Working to protect the Phantomhive manor and the young master, she never committed any tasks that called her integrity into question. She, as well as Bard and Finny, prevented threats from harming the young master, and that was that.

Then the circus performers came.

They had materialized in the middle of the night with the obvious purpose of attacking the manor and the young earl. The servants eliminated the ragtag band using every manner at their disposal, and never gave a fully conscious second thought until after the fact. The members of the Noah's Ark Circus had all been so young, they could not have been acting on their own; they must have been working for someone.

Mei Rin had felt her first twang of a guilty heartstring in a long time when she heard the grieving cry of the one called Peter, when she had shot the one called Wendy. She had pushed those little thoughts aside, continuing to protect the Phantomhive manor with every bit of her being. But the feelings continued, until the day she stumbled upon the files for the Noah's Ark Circus case when cleaning the earl's study. The performers had been working for someone; their benefactor and, for all intents and purposes, father. They had acted out of protection for their assumed family, just as she, Bard, and Finny had protected their own "family" that fateful evening.

Then came the fire.

Several cases for the Queen later, after Sebastian and the young master had investigated all manner of murders and kidnappings and deceit, acquiring Pluto in the process, the fire had struck London. It was, physically, the work of Pluto, being controlled - Mei Rin knew now - by an angel of massacre. The earl had convinced her and the other servants that Pluto was out of his mind, succumbing to the beast inside of himself, and urged them to shoot; to put him out of his misery. And they did. And Mei Rin's guilt gushed within every vein. In her own mind, no matter what logic the others applied, she had murdered a friend - in a way, a family member - and thus, her integrity was abolished for good.

These musings and memories flooded Mei Rin's mind as she stood before the mirror in her room in the servants' quarters, preparing to meet Sebastian in the garden. She had spent the evening helping Paula take care of the Abberline baby, and with her tasks as well as Sebastian's completed for the night, it was time for the second wave of discussion.

She did not look forward to it.

All the nervousness that would have filled her in anticipation for meeting Sebastian at any other time did not exist now. Instead, Mei Rin felt a numb anger. She had wholeheartedly forgiven Sebastian for his fooling her and the other servants, but the thought of everything that had come to light about the young master left her disillusioned about what she had so long perceived as an idyllic life. She could not protect the boy who had given her so much. Mei Rin stared expressionless at her reflection in the full-length mirror, then slowly reached up to her face and removed her eyeglasses, placing them in a drawer in her nightstand. With a last glance at herself, she turned on her heel and lethargically exited her room, making her way to the Phantomhive gardens.

~-~-~-~-~-~

Sebastian was waiting when Mei Rin arrived. How long he had waited, she could not tell. He saw her approaching, regarding her almost kindly. When she reached him, he gave a nod of the head by way of greeting, to which she only stared.

"Mei Rin, whatever happened to your glasses?" Sebastian inquired, noticing the maid's distinctly bright, cat-like eyes. "True, I don't suppose you need to disguise your astounding eyesight anymore..."