Unspoken Words

two

i smiled.

it's real this time. i really mean it, it's real this time.

the corners of my mouth curl naturally and the soft sound of my broken voice comes out in a laugh.

a laugh.

a real one this time.

i smile and make a comment, making the others laugh. i savored the moment and began to look at my friends.

happy.

they were happy - at least that's what it looked like.

i then frowned, why was everyone else around me so happy and yet i could rarely smile genuinely and honestly ?

"are you okay?"

no, my heart is in shreds and my brain is thrashing in my skull from all the unspoken words i am afraid to whisper.

my soul is tired and worn out from lying and faking. i seek genuine happiness and find none, none but a forced smile.

my heart is aching and begging for release from all the emotions i feel but do not speak of.

neglected, abused, bruised, hurt and kicked to the curb.

you're strong you'll be fine.

oh crap i haven't answered !

"yes - i'm just happy."

the voices in my head calm and i sit back, wearing my mask and hiding my pain.