Unspoken Words

six

among the many emotions i've felt during my depression episodes, pain is the worst.

it feels like cold has taken over your heart and all that's left to do is cry.

your consistent tears are a representation of your soul breaking piece by piece, or even breaking all together.

and it's the most frustrating because no matter how much you want to tell someone what's wrong with you, you can't, because you yourself don't know what's wrong.

your soul hurts.

what from ? she doesn't know.

she describes the pain, the episodes, as a dark cloud over her existence.

she walks around acting like everything is fine. not many know she has depression.

and those who do know judge her or tell her, "it'll pass".

it isn't puberty. it doesn't pass.

depression | noun
1.feelings of severe despondency and dejection: self-doubt creeps in and that swiftly turns to depression.
2. a mental condition characterized by feelings of severe despondency and rejection, typically also with feelings of inadequacy and guilt, often accompanied by lack of energy and disturbance of appetite and sleep: she was revered by a psychiatrist treating her for depression.

many who have depression never fully recover from depression. sure you feel a little better, but the darkness lingers inside your soul forever like a virus eating away at your will to live.

it's not a stage.

you can't stop it.

you cant slow it down.

you can't beat it,

and you can't cure it.

it doesn't stop until it's host is dead. like a virus.