You Are My Sunshine ~ Jeffmads

Chapter Seven

Somehow, Thomas had managed to fall asleep, curled in on himself with his head resting on James's lap. James didn't wake him at first, figuring he needed his sleep. And Thomas did need the sleep. Lately, he'd been staying up late, finishing essays, making powerpoints, and procrastinating with memes. Thank god it was a Friday, he didn't think he'd be able to endure another day full of glassed.

Ten, twenty, thirty minutes passed before James decided to rouse Thomas. It was almost midnight, and god knows what would happen to them if they stayed in the field for too long.

So, after a few more moments of staring down at his sweet, slightly chubby face, James lightly shook Thomas, whispering his name. "Hey, Tommy, wake up. It's time to go," He murmered, attempting to wiggle out from under the man. No such luck. He sighed. "Tommy. Thomas. Tom. Tom-cat. Tommy J. TJ. Jefferson. Jeffy. Jeffs. Baaaaaby."

At this, Thomas snapped his eyes open, a furious red blush on his face. He'd awoken the first time James had shaken him, and had just decided to pretend to sleep more, since he wasn't especially keen about going home to his cold bed and empty apartment. James's last nickname for him had caught his attention, as well as embarrassed him.

"Aha! That got your attention!"

"Shut up," Thomas mumbled, carefully picking himself up off of James's lap. He stood up and stretched, the hem of his shirt riding up a bit, exposing his smooth stomach. He plopped his arms back down to his sides, before glancing over at James, and extending one to help him up off of the ground.

"Thank you, kind sir," James said cheerily, leaning forward to plant a chaste kiss on Thomas's cheek. Thomas rolled his eyes and pretended to gag. His act wasn't fooling anyone, James knew Thomas loved it.

"Oh, shut up," He grumbled, pulling James to his feet. James flashed him a cheeky grin, wrapping his arm around his waist and pulling him close.

"I guess it's time to take you home," James said with a sigh, his grin becoming a little smaller and more bitter. He really didn't want this night to end. He felt such a strong attraction to Thomas. It was ridiculous how much he alright cared for and liked the man.

Thomas frowned. He nodded, keeping his gaze on the ground as James led him back to the car.

He considered asking James to stay over. Not to do anything serious, simply just to cuddle- okay, and maybe make out- and fall asleep together. Anything but have James leave him along again. Thomas gulped, feeling nervous as he prepared to ask his question.

"You should stay over. It's Friday after all, not like there's classes tomorrow."

James stayed silent for a moment, contemplating the question. He could already feel dark thoughts making their way into his mind. Thomas just wanted to hook up. He didn't care about James.

James had been having dark thoughts like this for approximately 13 years. They started when he was 8. That was far too young for somebody to become depressed. That's what everyone told James, at least.

They said that his sluggishness, weight gain, and excessive hunger were just a phase. They told him to just smile and be happy, and "for gods sake, boy, get your ass off of the couch and outside!" and "fresh air will make you feel better!" They were lies, all lies.

But luckily, James was a smart 8 year old. He looked up facts. Went to the public library and checked out book after book after book about mental illness. He concluded, after a month of study, that he had clinical depression. And sure enough, when he parents took him to the physiologist, he did. They immediately put him on antidepressants and he started therapy, twice a week with a nice lady from the hospital.

As James grew older, his symptoms changed. He became less sluggish and more anxious and figity. He cried a lot less. He was getting better, and be was proud of himself. Occasionally though, the thoughts did come back. And James always felt so helpless and sad and-

"James!"

James shook his head, looking back at Thomas with a startled expression. He blinked dumbly, staring at him with his mouth hanging open partially. He'd zoned out, and it was obvious.

"Uhh..what? I wasn't paying attention."

"I asked if you wanted to come back to my dorm and spend the night," Thomas asked again, letting out a nervous laugh. "Not to, like..fuck or anything. I just don't want you to go just yet."

He shrugged, looking as if it didn't matter to him.

James continued to blink at Thomas. He still hadn't fully snapped out of it, and was zoned out slightly.

A hurt look flashed in Thomas's eyes. He didn't understand. Couldn't understand. He let go of James's hand and sidestepped away, a guarded expression now on his face.

"Nevermind. It was dumb. I'm dumb. I'm sorry."

And with that, he ducked his head, walking towards James's car quickly, tears forming in the back of his eyes. He cursed under his breath, feeling their familiar prickle.

Thomas's self directed insults are what finally snapped James back to reality. He staggered forward and grabbed ahold of Thomas's arm, swiveling him around so they faced each other once again.

"Wait, no! I do want to spend the night. I'm sorry, I just got lost in thought."

"Oh, alright! Good," Thomas sighed, relief flooding his features and tone. "Let's go, then!"

James nodded and led him back to the car, helping him in.

💫💫💫

Soon enough, they were back at Thomas's door. They stumbled in, drunk on love and lack of sleep. Thomas giggled and fumbled with his keys, while James stood behind him, playing with his hair.

The mood on the way home had been overly joyful and flirtatious. It was clear the two men were made for each other. Anyone could see it.

Thomas finally succeded in opening his door. He and James walked in together, clinging to each other like baby koalas. They were a giggling mess, and it was hard to believe they weren't under the influence of anything.

"I'm fuckin' tired," Thomas said with a yawn, half leading, half pulling James towards his bedroom.

"It's past midnight. Of course you are."

"Shut up with that- that logic!" Thomas exclaimed, pulling James down onto the bed, wheezing when the man landed on top of him instead of next to him, as Thomas originally planned. "Owww.."

James smiled and rolled off of Thomas, pulling the other man onto his chest. He kissed his head of dark curls, rubbing his back.

"G'night Thomas.."

"Goodnight James."