Against All Odds

Do I love him?

Fatimah's POV
I told Hameedah everything we talked about and she just wouldnt stop saying "Awwn so cute"
Hameedah! ",I snapped, stop saying that and help me figure things out
Sighing she said ",Do you love him? Do u want to spend the rest of your life with him? This is marriage we are talking about.. We have to make the right decision if we don't want to regret things later in life.. Are you sure there's nothing that's going to cause any problem for u both in future.. Have u told him about ur past? Does he know about Abdul Jabbar?
"Hameedah help me.. I don't know what to do.. Yh I think I love him but I'm scared..
What if he decides not to marry me if he finds out about Jabbar... What would be his reaction if he gets to know about my past? I'm really scared ",I said crying profusely
Babe calm down, everything would be fine.. First we have to figure out your true feelings for him and then we know the next thing to do.. It would be fine habeebty ",she said hugging me back
Thanks love",I said wiping my tears, let's go downstairs I am really hungry
I thought you wouldn't say that ",she said laughing
We made our way downstairs to the kitchen,made pancakes and offered our salah..

It's 10:15pm and I still couldn't sleep.. Been tossing and turning on the bed for the past one hour..
Sighing I got up from bed and made my way to the kitchen and made hot cocoa with lots of milk hoping that would make me sleep
I went back to my room with the hot cocoa and sat on my bed with my laptop in front of me and decided to watch videos on YouTube...
I wasn't in the mood for any videos so I shut down my laptop
I thought about Uqbah.. Am I ready to spend the rest of my life with him? Do I actually love?
Sighing I decided to pray about it.. I made my way to the bathroom and made Wudhu ,laid out my mat and supplicated to Allah.. I asked for his guidance and help in deciding what is right and what is wrong and slept afterwards...

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