Alive

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My heartbeat grew faster as I stood in front of the apartment steps only for a moment before climbing them. The wind blew around me and I felt increasingly numb.

When I got to the top, I walked to the first door on the left, reading the correct number. I felt an intense jolt of anxiety, as I always do, but this time it was worse.

If Jaime catches me, i'm dead.
Would he do anything to Kellin?

I knocked three times in a row, and I questioned myself. Was that too light? Did he hear me?
I waited a few minutes before knocking again.

I looked around and felt my hands begin to tremble, just before I heard a weak call from inside Kellins apartment "Its open"

He wants me to open the door and walk into his apartment?
Why do I feel like that would be intruding?

I took a quick breath and twisted the handle, opening the door to reveal a rather cute apartment. It was quiet, and dark.
All of the shades were pulled shut and immediately upon entrance, the apartment looked completely empty.

To my left was a couch and a chair, a table agaisnt the wall had a TV on it, and I noticed several plants displayed in front of the closed window. They seemed to be wilting. On my other side I saw a small kitchen with a two seated table. I saw Kellin no where, so I assumed he was in one of the rooms down the hall that was between the living room and kitchen.

"Kellin?" I asked, closing the door behind me. The apartment was kind of eerie, It felt like something had died.

"In here" I heard the same weak call come from a room at the end of the hall, which was the only door down the hall that was open. As I began walking, I could already see that the shades were pulled shut in there too, I could see the sun struggling to make itself visible through the small crack between the fabric.
Is something wrong with him?
Is he sick?

I walked to his door way, and let my eyes roam around his room until they landed on him. At first I didn't see him, but then I did. Kellin was laying on his bed on his stomach, his face towards the wall instead of me.
His dark room was rather cluttered. Papers laid on his desk strewn out, while there were three seperate stacks of books and a jacket laying on the floor. Kellins bed was unmade, and the blankets were hanging off of the side. Aside from that, there was a few items of clothing laying on the floor in front of his dresser.

I waited for him to say something.
Did he forget about our plans?

"I'll- I'm gonna have to take a raincheck" he said in a tired mumble.

I let my brows furrow in confusion.
"Are you sick?" I asked, taking one more step into his room.

"I guess you could say that" he replied after almost a minute.

"Do you need me to get you anything? Water? Medicine? Anything?" I asked, feeling rather bummed that we couldn't do anything afterall.
Its bad, but i've been looking forward to this.

Kellin didn't reply. I let my eyes start to wonder around his room, walking closer to his desk to read the titles of some of the books. Three of them were my books, that put a small smile on my face as I read through the rest of the titles.

Some of the strewn papers were poems, but I tried not to let my eyes linger too long, as I didn't want to intrude.

It was one poem that stuck out to me.
"I Can No Longer Feel The Sun"

I let my eyes fall to the words, but stopped myself before reading. Maybe I'm not supposed to read it, maybe it would be intrusive of me.
I glanced at Kellin before returning my gaze to the paper, It took a minute before my attention was taken away by something orange I could see out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head and let my eyes settle on a small wastebasket, I noticed that the orange item I had seen was actually a prescription pill bottle.

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