Smother (Kellic)

Blur

"What's wrong with you?" Jaime sighed, seemingly inconvenienced by the sadness I didn't mean to show.

"Nothing" I muttered, playing with my hands. Jaime just rolled his eyes and continued to read the newspaper.

When I heard his phone begin to ring, I couldn't help but get a sinking feeling. My chest ached in so many ways that it seemed impossible.

Jaime was quick to get up, he walked out of the room and down the hall, until he was out the front door. Why would he go out there to answer a phone call unless-

Shut up. It's just work and I'm just being obessive and paranoid.
I cheated on Jaime. It was me.

I let my mind wonder back to Kellin, and I found myself thinking about him and his playful smirk. I thought of The Smiths and the book he gave to me. I thought of all of the wonderful things he's shown to me in such a short amount of time.

I found myself with the absurd thoughts of giving up everything to run back into his small apartment and kiss him just like I did in my car, and I hate myself for that.

I hate myself because for some reason that made more sense to me than staying here in my own home with my boyfriend of seven years, where we have a stable job and I hang out with my brother and his friend on the weekends and things are somewhat stable.

"Hey" Jaime inturrupted my thoughts when he came into the living room "they just called me into work, I won't be gone long, I'll be back by dinner" he assured me, not giving me a chance to reply before he was slipping on his coat as he left the house.

He worked yesterday too, a Saturday.

I sighed to myself and got myself up from the couch, making my way to my desk and awakening my computer.

Perhaps I can get some writing done while I feel this terrible.

***

"Smells good" Jaime said eagerly as he walked in, giving me a smile.

"Good. It'll be ready in a few" I said as I set the table with plates, napkins and forks.

"I'm gonna go wash up" he said as he walked towards the bathroom. I nodded at him even though he had already gone to the bathroom, and I waited longer for the casserole to get finished in the oven.

I sat glasses on the table and filled mine with water, and his with wine, knowing that he likes wine sometimes after a long day. He hasn't had a day off of work this week.

Soon enough everything was ready, and he sat down as I dished the food out onto our plates. He seemed to be in a decent mood, and I was thankful.

"You've been working hard, huh?" I asked with a smile.

"Yeah" he said in a tone that made me believe that he was annoyed with me. What did I do?

"Are they going to give you a day or two off to replace these?" I asked, continuing to put food on his plate.

"Probably not" he said in the same tone.

I didn't say anything else, and I finished serving the food. Reaching over him for a second to put my food in its spot, my hand bumped against his glass of wine and before I knew it, the table was soaked with the red liquid.

"Shit, Vic" he sighed, frusterated, I realized that some of the wine had managed to spill onto his leg. He got up and looked at me, red faced. "How is that gonna come out of the clothes, huh?" he yelled, causing me to cower away from him.

"Jaime, I'm sorry, it was an accident-" I rushed out, feeling everything go bad all over again.

"Yeah, sure!" he spat "goddammit" he yelled again as he stepped closer to me.

I was crying, of course, as I always do. I can't stop ruining everything.

"You spilt my fucking wine, you ruined dinner, you ruined my fucking pants" he yelled, throwing his hands up angrily. I tried to control my breathing, maybe I can get the stain out, I thought quickly before grabbing a napkin and running it under the water for a short second.

I inched closer to him and got down to his pants and began to dab gently over the stain, hoping it would come out. Before I knew it, Jaime slapped me across the face and shoved me back "just fucking get away from me!" he yelled, immensley furious.

How did spilling a glass of wine do this?

"You ruined everything! All you do is smother me, Vic" he stepped away from me before he picked up the empty wine glass and threw it at the wall behind me. "Fuck you"

I couldn't hold back the cries, I couldn't hold back the thoughts that I really do deserve this.

My body trembled with fear as he stepped closer to me, again, I was asking myself how spilt wine was enough to set him off like never before.

Everything stopped once the sharp kick was delivered to my side.

When I mean everything, I mean everything.

In a blur, a confusing blur, my brother rushed into the room and in an instant had Jaime pinned against the wall. "What the fuck are you doing?" he yelled in Jaime's face. He was far angrier than when he was here to confront me about Kellin and I. "What the fuck were you doing to him?" he demanded while he punched Jaime several times in the stomach.

Jaime doubled over in pain and I couldn't help but feel absolutely terrible. This is my fault.

"Mike" I spoke as I pulled myself out of the floor and feeling the burning in several parts of my body. Mike didn't stop.
"Mike!" I yelled at him until I was begging for him to stop.

Mike finally pulled away from him breathlessly, and he looked at me with a tearful glare.

Jaime slid down the wall and let himself lay on the kitchen floor, groaning.

I stood in shock at it all, at Mike, and he stood with a similar expression.

"I-I can't stay here" he said as if he had finally realized what he had done, he looked down at his hands and then back at me before rushing out, slamming the door behind him.

My head spun with everything that had just taken place.

What the fuck happened?

I let my tear-filled eyes land on Jaime as he lay helplessly slumped against the wall.

I can't leave him there.

I got my own tired body to help him to our bedroom, where I left him. He didn't say a word, and neither did I as I shut out all of the lights, and made my bed on the couch.