Things I Want To Express

what's left of me

The crazy in my mind
When I can't sleep at night.
Whether it's the cats meowing
The tap in the kitchen malfunctioning
or my thoughts screaming
it doesn't matter.
Do you know what matters?
My grades.
The amount of days
I spend crying
Doesn't compensate
For the amount of fails
I left my parents astonished with.
They all used to be by my side,
My intelligence, my kindness,
My optimism, my friends,
My will to live.
but what happened?
That's a question
I can't answer myself.
The question sparks another
question in itself.
How did they move on so easily?
Everyday I'll eagerly ask myself
as I diligently look at their
new friends.
Then I remember,
Our memories...
They are in 'past tense.'
I look at their dense faces
and then it hit me.
they've quit me.