Untouchable ~ A Jared Leto/MARS Fanfiction

Chapter Nine

Jared is lying still with his eyes closed when I step into his room. The fluorescent light over his hospital bed is on, casting his pale face with a slightly greenish hue. An IV tube runs from a bag on a pole and snakes under the blanket, while a device monitoring his vitals reads out data in green, yellow, and blue numbers. Some high tech stuff they have here at Cedars-Sinai. I don't doubt that the data is automatically uploading to an electronic patient file.

I take a seat next to his bed just as his eyes open. "Hey," he whispers, and smiles. His hand slides out from under the blanket and reaches out to me. I take it in my own. His skin is cool to the touch.

"Hey yourself. Welcome back." I rub his hand between my own. "Your doctor said you came through surgery great."

"Yeah. I guess so." He glances down at his leg, now immobilized in a solid cast. "Damn thing's all the way up to the middle of my thigh. Didn't think they'd have to put my whole leg in a cast."

"Yeah, but you tore your ACL a little, too."

Jared winces. "Great. I was afraid of that." He looks at me again, blinking sleepily. "I'm pretty doped up, but I wanted to see you and tell you I'm happy you decided to come to L.A."

I don't know if I'm happy or not to be in L.A., but I let his comment pass without remarking on it. At least I'm seeing first-hand that Jared's gotten the medical care he desperately needed. But part of me keeps thinking, over and over and over again, what the hell am I doing here?

I think about the hours that Jared was in surgery and how Constance had, for a brief time, abandoned the magazine and joined Shelby in watching the fish in the big aquarium. I could tell she was seeking a distraction, and Shelby readily provided one. They'd talked about the fish, Constance explaining to Shelby the difference between saltwater and freshwater aquatic life, and then Shelby told Constance about finding Jared. But she never mentioned the fact that we'd heard him crying for help the night before, that I'd run and left him to suffer for hours in the dark alone. In fact, Shelby's never said a word to anyone about that. She's been lying to cover for my shame.

A renewed flood of guilt sweeps over me and I look down at the floor, struggling to contain my emotions. Through willful, selfish negligence, I could've killed this man who's clinging to my hand and telling me he's happy I'm here. I could've killed him, and I nearly did kill his brother.

What the hell am I doing here?

"You look...different. Changed clothes?"

I nod and smile wanly. "And cleaned up a little bit, too, as best as we could in the ladies' room."

"Where's Shelby?" Jared asks.

"She fell asleep. Your mom's sitting with her. She didn't have to do that. She should've gone home and gotten some sleep."

"Mmm." Jared closes his eyes. "Mom's waiting for you. She wants you and Shelby to stay at her place until I get out of here."

Startled by this revelation, I can only utter, "Oh." I don't know what else to say to that. I like Constance, though I haven't spent a whole lot of time talking with her. Other than the bit of time she had her attention on Shelby, she's been wholly concerned with her son and we haven't had much of a chance to talk. "No. I don't want to impose on her. I'll get a cheap motel room nearby."

Jared manages a weak laugh. "This is Los Angeles, Lanie. You don't want to stay in a 'cheap motel' in this town." He squeezes my hand. "Anyway, I won't hear of it. Neither will my mom. She's determined to bring you and Shelby home, and if I were you, I wouldn't try to argue the point with her."