Untouchable ~ A Jared Leto/MARS Fanfiction

Chapter Twenty-One

A/N: ***ADULT CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER***

The scream pierces through the dark stillness of night, jolting me from sleep. By the time it comes again I'm out of bed and racing down the hall to Jared's room, my heart pounding frantically in my chest. It's the worst one yet. I know it is, because he's not just screaming—he's screaming words, and a name.

My name.

"Jared," I gasp as I hurry into his room and to his side. He's curled up in a tight ball, his body uncontrollably trembling. "Jared, it's okay. I'm here. It was just a dream," I whisper as I gather him in my arms as I've done so many times before, even after he moved out of my room and into his. "Just a dream," I repeat soothingly as he grabs onto me, gasping and crying my name.

"I saw faces—I saw his face!" Jared's shaking all over. "Oh, God, Lanie...make this fucking stop, please!"

"Whose face?" I pull him tightly to me. "Jared, whose face did you see? Who is he?"

"I don't know," he chokes out in between gasping sobs. "A man with dark hair. He had a gun and....he shot...over and over...people...so many people...screaming...God, make it fucking stop!"

Helplessly I hold him, his head against my breast. "I don't know how to make it stop," I whisper, close to tears myself.

We sit this way for an unknown time, as slowly he begins to calm down. Then at last, Jared takes a long quivering breath. "Don't leave me, Lanie. Stay in here with me. I need you to stay in here with me. I can't go back to sleep knowing I'll go there again. Not alone."

We'll be squished together—no avoiding it, since Jared's mattress is a twin—but there's no way I'm going to leave him like this. I lay down beside him and all at once it's just like it has always been. We hold one another, his red-rimmed, haunted eyes inches from my own. It's only when his arm around me shifts and travels over my side, my hip and to my bare leg do I remember that I'm wearing nothing but a thin tank top and miniscule—very miniscule—panties. In my haste to get to Jared I didn't stop to put any more clothes on.

Jared's throat works and his eyes lose some of their haunted quality. Something else replaces it. Something burning and barely contained. "But Lanie," he whispers, "laying this close together—if you don't go and put on something more substantial than this, I really don't think it's fair that I be held responsible for my actions."

I say nothing, but I don't make a move to get back up, either. Instead, I hold his gaze steadily. I'm so done with this...whatever this is that Jared's been doing for weeks now. If making love with the man I adore is crossing the line, then so be it. I'll take the consequences, whatever they are, but I can't do this again. Not one more night.

Jared's expression darkens a little. "This will change everything between us, Lanie. It'll open up so many avenues to pain and misery for you. Is that something you're willing to risk, for moments of physical pleasure?"

When I just continue holding his gaze silently, Jared curses under his breath. His hand leaves my hip and travels slowly up until he's touching my face for a moment, and then down to cup my breast. I close my eyes as his thumb brushes my nipple and I shiver.

"Stop me." There's as much pleading as there is command in those two words. When I say nothing, his hand leaves my breast and travels lower, across my quivering belly, and touches me between my legs.

"Lanie...please stop me." His fingers press against my sensitive flesh and I gasp, finally speaking just one word.

"No."