Untouchable ~ A Jared Leto/MARS Fanfiction

Chapter Fifteen

A low agonized moan awakens me sometime during the pre-dawn hours of the morning. I open my eyes to blackness. It takes a moment to remember where I am, and another moan to remind me that I'm not alone in the bed.

"Jared?" I whisper, turning toward him. "Are you okay?"

Silence. Maybe he's dreaming. If that's the case, there's no point in disturbing him. I turn over, facing away from him and close my eyes, but moments later he moans again, louder this time, and something in the sound of it—tormented and somehow lost—pulls me away from my edge of the bed and over to his.

"Jared," I whisper again, and this time he responds, reaching for me and pulling me tightly against his trembling body. Automatically I wrap my arms around him, trying to still his shaking. "Is it your leg? Are you in pain?"

"No," he mumbles groggily. "It was just a nightmare. Why's it so damn dark in here?"

"Because it's like four in the morning," I answer. "What was the nightmare about?"

"I dunno...some kind of apocalyptic thing. A crowd of people screaming and running everywhere, gunshots, chaos, and then I'm screaming, too, and Shannon and Tomo are there holding onto me, holding me back, and I keep screaming, something like 'why couldn't it have been me?'" He lets out a shuddering breath. "Anyway. The dark...I need some light right now. Please, Lanie."

I pull away from him and get up. I go to the bathroom and turn on the light in the shower stall and return to the bedroom. Jared's laying there with his hands behind his head, watching me. Shining glints of tears streak his face and he looks pale and tense. That must have been some nightmare. The residual effects are still apparent.

"Is that better?" I gesture at the bathroom doorway.

Jared nods. "Thank you."

I offer a small smile and get back into bed, resuming my prior position at the far edge. I fluff my pillow and turn away from him, hoping I can get back to sleep without too much trouble.

"What are you doing way over there?"

His voice caresses my back. It's much wider awake-sounding, and though his voice is smooth and warm, a shiver ripples through me. "Trying to go back to sleep."

A sigh. "I'd prefer it if you tried over here."

I turn to study him. The dim glow from the bathroom doorway illuminates his face, casting shadows and highlighting streaks of burnished red in his dark hair. His eyes are heavy lidded but I can both see and feel the burn of their steady glow even in the murky dimness of the room. "Why?" I murmur.

"Because I want you to." He says this simply and without inflection, like a man used to having his way.

I allow myself to smile at him. "And do you always get everything you want?"

He shakes his head. "Not quite everything, no. But I think you like snuggling with me, too."

Well, he's not wrong about that. That's the whole problem. I do like it. I like it too much. And so, knowing I absolutely shouldn't do it, that all I'm doing is torturing myself, I slide over to Jared's side and allow him to pull me tightly against him again. I rest my head in the crook of his shoulder and close my eyes as he begins caressing my back. His warm breath threads through my hair and a low, rumbled "Mmmm" from deep in his chest makes me quiver.

"Cold?" he whispers.

"No," I answer shakily, not trusting myself to say anything more because if I do, Jared will know exactly what kind of effect his closeness, his touch has on me. I have to hold myself back for both of our sakes, but I'm not sure I have the superhuman will and strength to do that. Not when his warm living flesh envelops me. Not when he shifts a little and places a soft, gentle kiss on my forehead. Not when he combs my hair away from my face, using just his fingertips. And not when he slides those fingers under my chin, tilts my head up and his lips meet mine.